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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v.8

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 8
Nowadays, computer technology has replaced many of the traditional methods and one of them is borrowing books from libraries. I completely agree that maintaining public libraries is not an effective method of utilizing the money as people have moved to the e-books. Firstly, people are too busy to go to the library and borrow books, which led them to rely on e-books. For example, a study conducted by Oxford University in the Cannimara Study Central in Chennai, states that, only 300 books have been borrowed over a period of 6 months in 2019, whereas the count was 4730 in 2002. This drastic change is the result of the availability of the internet to all the corners of the world, because of which, anyone can download and read any content they want. Secondly, there is a plethora of fund involved in keeping a library running, which involves the rent of the space, electricity, staff members' salary, etc. . These costs can be cut when we migrate to a computerized library model, where one person has to be employed and all the e-books can be uploaded to the website, where people pay and download the content. However, thiss cannot replace the experience of reading a real book- it cannot give the emotional-connect with a book. On the other hand, people can escape from carrying the books everywhere, as these e-books can be read in their mobile phone or tablet. In conclusion, there will be initial hesitations and discomfort when we adapt a new technology, but in a few years, people will get used to the new trend. In a couple of years, borrowing books, going back to return would become old fashioned when computers give them flexibility in time, place and abundant options to read in just one click.
Nowadays, computer technology has replaced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the traditional methods and one of them is borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from libraries. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that maintaining public libraries is not an effective method of utilizing the money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the e-books.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too busy to go to the library and borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which led them to rely on e-books.
For example
, a study conducted by Oxford University in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cannimara
Study Central in Chennai, states that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
been borrowed
over a period of 6 months in 2019, whereas the count was 4730 in 2002. This drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the result of the availability of the internet to all the corners of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which, anyone can download and read any content they want.

Secondly
, there is a plethora of fund involved in keeping a library running, which involves the rent of the space, electricity, staff members' salary, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
These costs can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
when we migrate to a computerized library model, where one person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be employed
and all the e-books can
be uploaded
to the website, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay and download the content.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thiss
cannot replace the experience of reading a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book-
it cannot give the emotional-connect with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can escape from carrying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
everywhere, as these e-books can
be read
in their mobile phone or tablet.

In conclusion
, there will be initial hesitations and discomfort when we adapt a new technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the new trend. In a couple of years, borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, going back to return would become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
when computers give them flexibility in time, place and abundant options to read in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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