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More and more people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? Why is this happening? What can be done to address this problem? v.1

More and more people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? Why is this happening? What can be done to address this problem? v. 1
Nowadays, Most of the people are suffering from the stress and it is one of the serious problem in many developed and underdeveloped countries. There are different reasons behind this. In this essay I will discuss the causes and also I will provide some helpful solutions. On a broader perspective, Stress and depression are one of the debatable problems in these days. If we see in our surroundings, everyone is effecting and undergo from these hard situations. Some psychologist done research and they found many causes. For instance, Family issue, unemployment, high rate of divorces among the couples, unhealthy lifestyle, financial issue are few names it. These causes sometimes compel the individual to commit suicide or encourage them for crimes. Before few decades, People were having a good life style and they were economically stable, but on the other hand, Due to globalization this issue is increasing day by day. Consequently, The government should need to take some serious steps to cope these adverse situations. Firstly, This is the responsibility of the government to provide job opportunities to everyone so it will reduce the stress among the people and secondly, This is aslo the duty of the state to allocate recreational places so through this way people will spend their free time in parks and gym so they will improve the lifestyle. To sum up, Stress is one of the alarming problems in every society and we should all together to take serious steps to overcome on this. Otherwise, If it is not handled then it will lead to more critical complication and it will affect the societies adversely.
Nowadays, Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and it is one of the serious problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed and underdeveloped countries. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons behind this. In this essay I will discuss the causes and
also
I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
helpful solutions.

On a broader perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
and depression are one of the debatable problems in these days. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in our surroundings, everyone is effecting and undergo from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
psychologist done research and they found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes.
For instance
, Family issue, unemployment, high rate of divorces among the couples, unhealthy lifestyle, financial issue are few names it. These causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
compel the individual to commit suicide or encourage them for crimes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
were having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
style and
they were
economically
stable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, Due to globalization this issue is increasing day by day.

Consequently
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious steps to cope these adverse situations.
Firstly
, This is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide job opportunities to everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
secondly
, This is
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
the duty of the state to allocate recreational places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
through this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will spend their free time in parks and gym
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the lifestyle.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
is one of the alarming problems in every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we should all together to take serious steps to overcome on this.
Otherwise
, If it is not handled then it will lead to more critical complication and it will affect the societies
adversely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? Why is this happening? What can be done to address this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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