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More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution. v.3

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution. v. 3
Admittedly, a trend of using private vehicles for displacement has been occurring in the past few decades. Owing to the convenience and reliability provided by owning cars, which public transportation failed to give so, these are highly in demand. In this essay, some of the issues associated with this notion along with some strategic solutions are discussed in the further paragraphs. To begin, the major concern relating to this phenomenon is the overcrowding on roads. Evidence of this statement is that, it can easily be seen that the suburbs of big cities are usually flooded with so many cars that it takes almost hours to covers few miles. Consequently, to spare some time, people sometimes become reckless drivers on the pedestrian and loose their control on the vehicle. Many accidents, for instance, happen due to the impatient behaviour of car riders on the road which leads to a loss of possession and lives. Thus, it is a serious concern of today's society. Leaping further, another negative consequence linked to more private cars on roads is the incline in the air pollution, especially in the urban or metropolitan areas. Because of heavy combustion of toxic smoke produced by cars, the environment is getting devastatingly affected. To illustrate, recent scientific study conducted in China, stated that more than 20% of carbon emissions from automobile are responsible for global warming. Henceforth, increasing private cars on utilization is not a favourable idea for natural habitats. In the context of the solutions to this alarming issue, the primary one can be the modernisation and development of public transportation. Government must play their part to improve the quality of service of public conveyance. So that passengers can get attracted to use these instead of using their own motor vehicles. Also, car pooling is another good approach for office workers, teachers, professional travellers to save money, environment and natural resources. Additionally, it would halt the situation to get worse. Henceforth, simple ideas can control the volume of cars on roads. In conclusion, it can be conveyed that this issue is a concerning one which is becoming uncontrollable. However, the collaborative efforts of government as well as human beings can be significant enough to avoid the bad consequences on our society in the near future.
Admittedly
, a trend of using private vehicles for displacement has been occurring in the past few decades. Owing to the convenience and reliability provided by owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which public transportation failed to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these are
highly
in demand. In this essay,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
issues associated with this notion along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategic solutions
are discussed
in the
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the major concern relating to this phenomenon is the overcrowding on roads. Evidence of this statement is that, it can
easily
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the suburbs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities are
usually
flooded with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that it takes almost hours to covers few miles.
Consequently
, to spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
become reckless drivers on the pedestrian and
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their control on the vehicle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
accidents,
for instance
, happen due to the impatient
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
riders on the road which leads to a loss of possession and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Thus
, it is a serious concern of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society.

Leaping
further
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence linked to more private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads is the incline in the air pollution,
especially
in the urban or metropolitan areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of heavy combustion of toxic smoke produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the environment is getting
devastatingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To illustrate, recent scientific study conducted in China, stated that more than 20% of carbon emissions from automobile are responsible for global warming. Henceforth, increasing private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on utilization is not a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for natural habitats.

In the context of the solutions to this alarming issue, the primary one can be the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
and development of public transportation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
play their part to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of service of public conveyance.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
passengers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
instead
of using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motor vehicles.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
pooling is another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach for office workers, teachers, professional
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to save money, environment and natural resources.
Additionally
, it would halt the situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse. Henceforth, simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
can control the volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads.

In conclusion
, it can
be conveyed
that this issue is a concerning one which is becoming uncontrollable.
However
, the collaborative efforts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as human beings can be significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences on our society in the near future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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