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More and more people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people belive that by encouraging the movement of such people rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Ot v.1

More and more people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people belive that by encouraging the movement of such people rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Ot v. 1
Brain-drain is one of the major problems in the globalized world countries. Most of their educated professionals migrate to the rich countries for better job opportunities and salary. Most of the rich countries are ready to hire educated professionals from other countries by paying much money than their country. Do you think it is a kind of stealing? Most of the poor nations are paying less salary for their professionals. The educated job seekers have not enough vacancies to build their career in their country. Furthermore, the opportunities and benefits from developed nations tempt them to fly and find a job. In general, ambition for a sound future is the main factor for this brain-drain. However, majority of their income flow to their motherland. This trend helps the undeveloped countries to build their economy. For instance, majority of the developing countries receive a huge amount of foreign currency from abroad from the experts who work there. Isn' t it a good solution to increase the foreign currency in the national treasury? Most of the third world countries encourage their masters to get a job in the international sector. The richest nations have spent huge amounts of money to pay the foreign masters. Therefore, wage for the poor nations for encouraging their qualified people to stay and help the developed countries are not practical. Anyhow, the developed nations should tighten the immigration rules and criteria for the admission of professional to prevent more brain-drain from the poor nations. More flow specialist professionals than any other professionals will create a big shortage of specialist professionals in that country. In conclusion, moving workers from one country to another country is a natural process. This is not a kind of stealing. Creating more job opportunities and paying better salary should tempt the professionals to stay in the country.
Brain-drain is one of the major problems in the globalized world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Most of their educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
migrate to the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and salary. Most of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are ready to hire educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by paying much money than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a kind of stealing?

Most of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are paying less salary for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
. The educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
vacancies to build their career in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, the opportunities and benefits from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
tempt them to
fly
and find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In general
, ambition for a sound future is the main factor for this brain-drain.

However
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
their income flow to their motherland. This trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to build their economy.
For instance
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
receive a huge amount of foreign currency from abroad from the experts who work there.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Isn&
#039; t it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to increase the foreign currency in the national treasury? Most of the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
encourage their masters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the international".
in the international
sector. The richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have spent huge amounts of money to pay the foreign masters.
Therefore
, wage for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
for encouraging their qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not practical.

Anyhow, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should tighten the immigration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and criteria for the admission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
more brain-drain from the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. More flow specialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shortage of specialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
in that country.

In conclusion
, moving workers from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a natural process. This is not a kind of stealing. Creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and paying better salary should tempt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
to stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people belive that by encouraging the movement of such people rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Ot v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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