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TPO 11 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v.1

TPO 11 – task 2: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v. 1
In the contemporary world, teaching methodologies are always evolving to maximise its efficacy. While some people believe in an exclusive net based approach towards reading, others disagree; firmly advocating printed materials for successful learning. In my opinion, both of them ought to be used interchangeably for an ideal outcome. On the one hand, there is a lot of positivity involved with online learning. Firstly, with just one click, children can access plethora of updated electronic books and academic information from multiple free websites. For instance, Wikipedia and Google are two of the highly visited websites by students, for further academic reading. Secondly, online materials can easily be programmed to cater to each child’s mental capabilities. Furthermore, majority of the e-books have an integrated dictionary app, eliminating the need to search for meanings separately; thus, making reading experience a more enjoyable process. Finally, as there isn’t a need for natural wood resources, online approach is more environment - friendly. On the other hand, many people prefer the more historic and traditional approach of reading printed materials such as books and newspapers. They argue that it is more effective in terms of readability. To exemplify, in an independent online survey, majority of students favoured physically published books over e-books, mainly due to easier text comprehension. Additionally, reading printed materials avoids the negative health side effects associated with using electronic gadgets, in particular eyestrain and neck fatigue. To further illustrate, students can’t concentrate for a long period of time on tablets or PC, due to eye fatigue. Thus, in the long run, continuous online reading can be detrimental to the pupils’ eyes. In conclusion, I believe instead of favouring one methodology over another, both online and net-based approaches should be incorporated together. As a blend of two, can result in a more effective learning experience for the child.
In the contemporary world, teaching methodologies are always evolving to
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
its efficacy. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in an exclusive net based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, others disagree;
firmly
advocating printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for successful learning. In my opinion, both of them ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
interchangeably
for an ideal outcome.

On the one hand, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
positivity involved with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning.
Firstly
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click, children can access plethora of updated electronic books and academic information from multiple free websites.
For instance
, Wikipedia and Google are two of the
highly
visited websites by students, for
further
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can
easily
be programmed
to cater to each child’s mental capabilities.
Furthermore
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the e-books have an integrated dictionary app, eliminating the need to search for meanings
separately
;
thus
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
experience a more enjoyable process.
Finally
, as there isn’t a need for natural wood resources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
is more environment
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
friendly.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer the more historic and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
such as books and newspapers. They argue that it is more effective in terms of readability. To exemplify, in an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
survey,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
students
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
physically
published books over e-books,
mainly
due to easier text comprehension.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
avoids the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
health side effects associated with using electronic gadgets,
in particular
eyestrain and neck fatigue. To
further
illustrate, students can’t concentrate for a long period of time on tablets or PC, due to eye fatigue.
Thus
, in the long run, continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can be detrimental to the pupils’ eyes.

In conclusion
, I believe
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
one methodology over another, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and net-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
should
be incorporated
together. As a blend of two, can result in a more effective learning experience for the child.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay TPO 11 – task 2: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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