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More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v.2

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v. 2
Some children are more brilliant than other children and learn parts faster. Accordingly, some people assert that intelligent children should take lessons separately while other people insist brainy children should learn with others together. In my opinion, separating children by learning ability will have a negative impact on average or below average children. To begin with, the reason that intelligent youth should learn separately is simple. They are able to develop faster than others. This even allows brilliant youth to learn much more than is included in the standard curriculum. For instance, in some schools, they give entrance coaching for intelligent students as soon as students reach 7th or 8th grade. This helps bright students to have an edge over their peers. However, from my personal standpoint, separating students is unlikely to offer any substantial benefits. To start, the grade of intelligent children is not affected by learning with ordinary children. Of course, when there are weaker children in the class, the class may take longer to finish the lessons, but they learn all the standard curriculum. Conversely, separating children may result in a lower average student mark. When the average children and smart children are together, ordinary children can learn more by intelligent children and they will participate in class harder to catch intelligent children. To conclude, there is no real advantage in separating children on the basis of their learning ability. This practice is definitely likely to affect the performance of average children but it is unlikely to improve the grades of bight children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more brilliant than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
parts faster.
Accordingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should take lessons
separately
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist brainy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
with others together. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by learning ability will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
or below
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
youth should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
separately
is simple. They are able to develop faster than others. This even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
brilliant youth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
much more than
is included
in the standard curriculum.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools, they give entrance coaching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reach 7th or 8th grade. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have an edge over their peers.

However
, from my personal standpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is unlikely to offer any substantial benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, the grade of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by learning with ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Of course
, when there are weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
may take longer to finish the lessons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all the standard curriculum.
Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may result in a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
mark. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are together, ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they will participate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
harder to catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
children.

To conclude
, there is no real advantage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on the basis of their learning ability. This practice is definitely likely to affect the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the grades of bight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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