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More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v.1

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v. 1
In the modern world, some developing nations considering expanding tourism all over the country. Tourism is known as an effective method to develop a nation by foreign income, also there is prominent proof available that the hospitalization industry positively affects the development of the countries. Firstly, some countries suffering from the lack of natural resources like oil, cola or advance industrialized technology, which is vital to the growth of the nation. Consequently, they have to depend on tourism. Moreover, nations like Sri Lanka, Maldives, Hawai, which have a natural beauty that can't resist, also the magnificent beach around the island make attract tourists from all over the world. Those who have tourist attractions like the beach, nature, wildlife, naturally earn a significant amount of income of the country. As an example, tourism covers 30% of the Sri Lankan capital budget. As a result of that, the government always promotes tourism in the first place. At the same time, there is numerous evidence, that tourism supports many individuals all over the country by creating more job opportunities and businesses. As an example, it is commonly seen, local street food corners that tourists are most likely to hang out which is created diversity of the nation. Nevertheless, the rapid development of the hotel feels can be identified as an upside. There are thousands of new job opportunities has been created due to this industry After all, this considers the importance of tourism for the developing country cannot be discarded also I believe that tourist attraction must be open to the world.
In the modern world,
some
developing
nations
considering expanding
tourism
all over the
country
.
Tourism
is known
as an effective method to develop a
nation
by foreign income,
also
there is prominent proof available that the hospitalization industry
positively
affects the development of the countries.

Firstly
,
some
countries
suffering from the lack of natural resources like oil, cola or advance industrialized technology, which is vital to the growth of the
nation
.
Consequently
, they
have to
depend on
tourism
.
Moreover
,
nations
like Sri Lanka, Maldives,
Hawai
, which have a natural beauty that can't resist,
also
the magnificent beach around the island
make
attract
tourists
from all over the world. Those who have
tourist
attractions like the beach, nature, wildlife,
naturally
earn a significant amount of income of the
country
. As an example,
tourism
covers 30% of the Sri Lankan capital budget.
As a result
of that, the
government
always promotes
tourism
in the
first
place.

At the same time, there is numerous evidence, that
tourism
supports
many
individuals all over the
country
by creating more job opportunities and businesses. As an example, it is
commonly
seen
, local street food corners that
tourists
are most likely to hang out which
is created
diversity of the
nation
.
Nevertheless
, the rapid development of the hotel feels can
be identified
as an upside. There are thousands of new job opportunities has
been created
due to this
industry


After all
, this considers the importance of
tourism
for the developing
country
cannot
be discarded
also
I believe that
tourist
attraction
must
be open to the world.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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