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More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive or a negative development? v.4

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive or a negative development? v. 4
Nowadays, developing countries continue to extend industries that serve tourisms. There are reasons why this is happening and I believe that this is a positive development. One of the primary reasons why there are extensions in tourism industries is because it creates local jobs. In other words, local people are provided with varieties of work due to the increasing demand from tourists. For instance, these foreign visitors need more tour guides, hotel assistances and restaurant crews serve them during their visit to a foreign land. As a result, many countries maintain to grow their tourism assistance offices. Another cause of the expansion is that it can boost the economy. Since more visitors are paying dollar taxes, these revenues are utilized for improving the infrastructures of the country. Such examples are building wider roads, schools and airports. Therefore, this can give more progress to their state. In my own perspective, I think that this is a positive movement from the government. When more jobs are produced, the unemployment rate of people will decrease. That is to say that more families will be financially supported by their breadwinners, which is for the betterment of them. Moreover, building more industries for tourisms preserves the country's culture and heritage. The inflation rate of visitors in the country means that it is more likely that people should keep their culture and ancient structures well maintained. Thus, spreading of tourism is regarded as beneficial. In conclusion, the construction of more tourism industries can give people regular jobs and can develop the economy. Hence, I consider this as advantageous.
Nowadays, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
continue to extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that serve
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisms
. There are reasons why this is happening and I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

One of the primary reasons why there are extensions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates local jobs.
In other words
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are provided
with varieties of work due to the increasing demand from tourists.
For instance
, these foreign visitors need more tour guides, hotel
Possible spelling mistake found.
assistances
and restaurant crews serve them during their visit to a foreign land.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
maintain to grow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
assistance offices. Another cause of the expansion is that it can boost the economy. Since more visitors are paying dollar taxes, these revenues
are utilized
for improving the infrastructures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Such examples are building wider roads, schools and airports.
Therefore
, this can give more progress to their state.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
movement from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. When more jobs
are produced
, the unemployment rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will decrease.
That is
to say that more families will be
financially
supported by their breadwinners, which is for the betterment of them.
Moreover
, building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisms
preserves the country's culture and heritage. The inflation rate of visitors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
means that it is more likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their culture and ancient structures well maintained.
Thus
, spreading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is regarded
as beneficial.

In conclusion
, the construction of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regular jobs and can develop the economy.
Hence
, I consider this as advantageous.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive or a negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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