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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 6
To begin with, there is a talk that famous people are not being handled well by the media. Some say intimate space must be given to their personal life. However, others think it is about the cost of their popularity which is more towards their personal life. Let’s discuss both sides. On one side, some news and information which are not true about a popular personality comes through media easily and this makes people think wrongly about the person. The primary thing is there should be no proper media coverage or any false news unless the information is truly verified. They should be given some space and right towards their personal life. For example, there was false news in media about a person recently in American Politics mentioning he was having black money and didn’t pay the government taxes properly. But after several investigations, it has been proved wrong. On the other side, People who are popular in any field are paid higher or they get revenues from various resources. Their personalities and popularity get changed easily. Media will not be quiet and go deep into their personal life. So there is a hunger for Social media to make their personal increase in TRP by invading more about the personal life of celebrities. For Example, there was a survey recently mentioning the highly paid actors in the cinema industry. Media went into more personal information by fiddling into their assets. To conclude, there will always be discussions going over famous personalities. However, in my opinion, the famous people intimacy should not be touched to an extent. It should be in such a way that it does not create any negative opinion.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a talk that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
being handled
well by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say intimate space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is about the cost of their popularity which is more towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s discuss both sides.

On one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news and information which are not true about a popular personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
easily
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wrongly
about the person. The primary thing is there should be no proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage or any false news unless the information is
truly
verified. They should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
space and right towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, there was false news in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
about a person recently in American Politics mentioning he was having black money and didn’t pay the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
taxes
properly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after several investigations, it has
been proved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are popular in any field
are paid
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
higher or
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
revenues from various resources. Their personalities and popularity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
easily
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
will not be quiet and go deep into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is a hunger for Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
increase in TRP by invading more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of celebrities.
For Example
, there was a survey recently mentioning the
highly
paid actors in the cinema industry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
went into more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information by fiddling into their assets.

To conclude
, there will always be discussions going over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities.
However
, in my opinion, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intimacy should not
be touched
to an extent. It should be in such a way that it does not create any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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