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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v.34

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 34
In the era of advancement, the health diseases are increasing day by day. These people consider that fast food as a major cause of health problems, therefore the government should increase the tax level on the junk food. This essay will discuss why it is entirely necessary for the authority to set a higher tax rate on the unhealthy food in order to decrease the consumption of that food. To begin with, the ministry have to increase the tax rate only on the junk food to reduce the health issues. With the higher tax, the people will not spend money on unhealthy food, because they do not want to waste their money. For example, the Burger King, offers a combo with burger only for $5 including the tax, so the consumption rate in increasing, because the customers think it is affordable for them. But, if the government takes a step ahead and apply a higher tax on it, then the customers will think twice before purchasing it. This is an outstanding way to keep the people fit and well - being. However, some believe that it will become a major reason behind shut down the junk food business. They admit that if the law sets any higher rate of tax on unhealthy things then the demand of those products will also be reducing, which will become the reason behind business closed. For instance, if the ministry makes any Higher tax law against pizza, then no one wants to buy a pizza, they might prefer to to eat any cheaper product on the place of pizza. So, ultimately the pizza shop will be closed one day. This is the main concern of some people. To conclude, no doubt, this step will harmful for the fast food industries, but it will improve the fitness system of the public. I am an absolutely agree with the statement that the authority should implement the higher tax rate on unhealthy foods.
In the era of advancement, the health diseases are increasing day by day. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as a major cause of health problems,
therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
level on the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This essay will discuss why it is
entirely
necessary for the authority to set a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to decrease the consumption of that food.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the ministry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the health issues. With the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to waste their money.
For example
, the Burger King, offers a combo with burger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for $5 including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is affordable for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes a step ahead and apply a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on it, then the customers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing it. This is an outstanding way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fit and well
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
being.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it will become a major reason behind shut down the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
business. They admit that if the law sets any higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
things then the demand of those products will
also
be reducing, which will become the reason behind business closed.
For instance
, if the ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
any Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
law against pizza, then no one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a pizza, they might prefer
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
eat any cheaper product on the place of pizza.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
ultimately
the pizza shop will
be closed
one day. This is the main concern of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, no doubt, this step will harmful for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the fitness system of the public. I am an
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that the authority should implement the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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