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More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.3

More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3
These days, it is common for people to do a task at home because of technological advancement. However, would argue that this has more drawbacks than advantages. To begin with, one of the advantages of working from home is the freedom that it provides. While working at home employees can organize their production around their respective houses. They can stop or begin working at their own pace. For example, they can balance their time to work and on the other hand allotting time to do errands in the house, such as, cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, as well as spending a moment with their family. A worker has an acceptable balance between work and their household. Furthermore, despite these positive factors, however, there are several numbers of disadvantages. One is that those working at home will not be able to focus on their job. They are surrounded by people in the house that can result in destruction. Secondly, because of the relaxing environment, it can cause them to feel more relax and later on cause them to feel lazy which can lead to procrastinating things that may end up on delays. Lastly, if the need arises you will not be able to depend on help from your colleagues that may end up on lack of coordination and teamwork. In my conclusion, although there are pros and cons related to working at your place, there can still be a chance that it can result in more negative impacts. Employees, as well as the employer, should take into consideration this matter carefully whether working at home is the best option for an to work efficiently and effectively.
These days, it is common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do a task at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological advancement.
However
, would argue that this has more drawbacks than advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is the freedom that it provides.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home employees can organize their production around their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
For example
, they can balance their time to work and
on the other hand
allotting time to do errands in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, such as,

cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, doing laundry, cooking,
as well
as spending a moment with their family. A worker has an acceptable balance between work and their household.

Furthermore
, despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
factors,
however
, there are several numbers of disadvantages. One is that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home will not be able to focus on their job. They
are surrounded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
that can result in destruction.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the relaxing environment, it can cause them to feel more relax and later on cause them to feel lazy which can lead to procrastinating things that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up on delays.
Lastly
, if the need arises you will not be able to depend on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from your colleagues that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up on lack of coordination and teamwork.

In my conclusion, although there are pros and cons related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at your place, there can
still
be a chance that it can result in more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. Employees,
as well
as the employer, should take into consideration this matter
carefully
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is the best option for
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
to work
efficiently
and
effectively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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