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More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
Nowadays, numerous corporations allow their workers to telecommute than ever before. Companies are able to provide such options easily, because of the significant technological improvement in networking. This essay will discuss about the positive and negative outcomes of this work from home culture. Teamwork is vital to an organization’s success. People will be able to express their thoughts and ideas effectively with each other, when they meet face to face. Also, critical conflicts can be mitigated within minutes once team members meet in person. Whereas, communicating via emails and phone calls may take hours to resolve similar issues. Hence, some conservative managers prefer their employees to work from office premises. On the other hand, Telecommute is an important technological solution for various key issues. Let us take a look at such issues. If a majority of the employees start working from home, then road congestion will drop which in turn will reduce the air pollution. Also, city population can be controlled to an extent. Furthermore, companies can hire talents across countries and allow their employees to work remotely. With this approach, Industries get to save big chunk of money in salaries as city workers are paid heavily compared to sub-urban and countryside due to the difference in cost of living. In addition to that, employees will have much better work-life balance and which will improve the overall company’s productive. A recent study shows that, the employee' s anxiety level reduced up to 40% when they work in relaxed environments such as a home office, coffee shops, etc. To sum up, though there are some disadvantages involved in work from home option, advantages of this modern approach clearly outweighs the negative aspects. So, companies should encourage their employees to telecommute, if possible
Nowadays, numerous corporations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their workers to telecommute than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
are able to provide such options
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the significant technological improvement in networking. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home culture.

Teamwork is vital to an organization’s success.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will be able to express their thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
effectively
with each other, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face to face.
Also
, critical conflicts can
be mitigated
within minutes once team members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in person. Whereas, communicating via emails and phone calls may take hours to resolve similar issues.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conservative managers prefer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from office premises.

On the other hand
, Telecommute is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
technological solution for various key issues.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take a look at such issues. If a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working from home, then road congestion will drop which in turn will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the air pollution.
Also
, city population can
be controlled
to an extent.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can hire talents across countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
. With this approach, Industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of money in salaries as city workers
are paid
heavily
compared to sub-urban and countryside due to the difference in cost of living.

In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will have much better work-life balance and which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
productive. A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employee&
#039; s anxiety level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
up to 40% when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in relaxed environments such as a home office, coffee shops, etc.

To sum up, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home option, advantages of this modern approach
clearly
outweighs the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to telecommute, if possible
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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