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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.879

People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 879
I completely disagree, nowadays we are so much busy doing things that we really need to do. So, we are putting outside everything that we probably would like to do. Modern society is completely full of tasks and worried about earning money to survive. Usually, most part of the people do not have enough time to think about which they would like do. In fact, we immerse ourselves in a heavy routine, but unfortunately life it is not forever and we are getting old day by day. For example, I am a P. h. D student and usually I spent most part of my time doing activities related with my research project. But, there are so much things that I want to do in life. Simply things like visit my grandmother, I really miss her so much, but I am not able to travel right now. Also, I would like to read a lot books just for enjoying an amazing read and a lot of other things. Indeed, working like this I usually do not have free time to do what I really appreciate. Recently, I was reading a newspaper that was discussing about I survey with 70 countries, which stated that seventy percent of the old people around the world have some kind of mental illness caused by their jobs and consequently their lifestyle when they were younger. Interesting when these people was asked a simple question, like: Did you enjoy your life, doing activities that you like? The average answer was: - No, I did not, because I was so busy with my job. Briefly, the researchers conclude that, there was a strong correlation between mental health and a happiness behaviour about doing daily activities. Perhaps, we did not learn yet, how to live a good life. I mean! Making better decisions, thinking about what we really want for ourselves. For example, my boyfriend always have a to dream take a Bachelor’s degree in Physical Education, but his father currently have a factory of construction and building materials. So, he ended up, taking a degree in Administration to help his father in the business’s family. Unhapelly, he does not like their currently job but a couple of days ago he was thinking about became a Personal Trainer and taking a Bachelor’s degree that he always wanted. I encourage him to do it, because I feel that, we are not getting use to do what really we like. For those reasons I feel the opposite of the statement. Perhaps we need to take more time with activities that we really would enjoy than just working to earn money for the future. We are losing the path to live an amazing life, just for refuse ourselves to do the things that we like.
I completely disagree, nowadays we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
need to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we are putting outside everything that we
probably
would like to do. Modern society is completely full of tasks and worried about earning money to survive.
Usually
, most part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about which they would like do.

In fact, we immerse ourselves in a heavy routine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
it is not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forever and
we are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
day by day.
For example
, I am a P. h. D student and
usually
I spent most part of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
activities related with my research project.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
things that I want to do in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Simply
things like visit my grandmother, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
miss her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am not able to travel right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Also
, I would like to read
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of books"?
a lot books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for enjoying an amazing read and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other things.
Indeed
, working like this I
usually
do not have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
appreciate.

Recently, I was reading a newspaper that was
Did you mean simply "discussing I"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about I
survey with 70 countries, which stated that seventy percent of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of mental illness caused by their jobs and
consequently
their lifestyle when they were younger. Interesting when these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was asked
a simple question, like: Did you enjoy your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
activities that you like? The average answer was:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
No, I did not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy with my job.
Briefly
, the researchers conclude that, there was a strong correlation between mental health and a happiness
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
daily activities.

Perhaps, we did not learn
yet
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I mean! Making better decisions, thinking about what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
want for ourselves.
For example
, my boyfriend always have a to dream take a Bachelor’s degree in Physical Education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his father
currently
have a factory of construction and building materials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he ended up, taking a degree in Administration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
his father in the business’s family.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unhapelly
, he does not like their
currently
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a couple of days ago he was thinking about became a Personal Trainer and taking a Bachelor’s degree that he always wanted. I encourage him to do it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I feel that, we are not getting
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
we like.

For those reasons I feel the opposite of the statement. Perhaps we need to take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with activities that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
would enjoy than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
working to earn money for the future. We are losing the path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for refuse ourselves to do the things that we like.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 879

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
463 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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