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More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
Nowadays it has been observed that most of the organisations have given flexibility to their workers of telecommunication. It is the work arrangement in which an employee can connect from home without coming to an office on a daily basis. Personally, I believe the benefits of this approach outweigh its drawbacks. There are many reasons why telecommunication has more advantages than working from an office. Firstly, It gives an opportunity to an employee to work according to his or her comfort. A person need not to travel every day, so it saves a lot of time. In this way, a person can give more focus and attention to his family. Therefore, work life balance in this kind of working approach is better. Secondly, employers save a lot of money, as they need not to give travel allowance to their employees who work regularly from home. Moreover, it also helps employers to save the cost on the resources like computer, printers and office space. Finally, employers are able to hire talented people across the globe, which is only possible because of this approach. On the other hand, this approach has some demerits. In this contemporary era, it has become very important to give employees face to face professional training and workshops on the latest technologies and keep them updated, so that they can use those modern technologies in the company's projects. However, this is not always possible in this type of working environment. Moreover, the meeting takes a lot of time if a person has an internet connectivity issue at home. Furthermore, sometimes due to personal issues work, is hampered in this application. All in all, I opine that in this contemporary era time is an important factor. Hence, every organisation should have an option for their employees for connecting from their home.
Nowadays it has
been observed
that most of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
flexibility to their workers of telecommunication. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
arrangement in which an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can connect from home without coming to an office on a daily basis.
Personally
, I believe the benefits of this approach outweigh its drawbacks.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why telecommunication has more advantages than working from an office.
Firstly
, It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
comfort. A person need not
Did you mean "travel"?
to travel
every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. In this way, a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more focus and attention to his family.
Therefore
,
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance in this kind of working approach is better.
Secondly
, employers save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, as they need not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
travel allowance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
regularly
from home.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employers to save the cost on the resources like computer, printers and office space.
Finally
, employers are able to hire talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the globe, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible
because of this
approach.

On the other hand
, this approach has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits. In this contemporary era, it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
face to face professional training and workshops on the latest technologies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them updated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those modern technologies in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's projects.
However
, this is not always possible in this type of working environment.
Moreover
, the meeting takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time if a person has an internet connectivity issue at home.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
due to personal issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
is hampered
in this application.

All in all, I opine that in this contemporary era time is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor.
Hence
, every
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
should have an option for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for connecting from their home.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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