Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised This can sometimes put them at risk What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet How can this problem be solved v.2

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised This can sometimes put them at risk What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet How can this problem be solved v. 2
It is impossible to imagine daily life without the Internet. However, unrestricted virtual world often have a negative effect on the youth. This essay will consider these effects and suggest solutions to them. Let us start with difficulties parents encounter, when they do not control their children in the virtual world. The first problem is that the youth often refuse to do homework. The more time children spend online, the less time they possess to do school assignment at home, which adversely affects their academic performance. Another concern is that eye problems can arise. Children may develop poor eyesight, since they usually sit in front of monitors for long hours, resulting them in wearing glasses in the future. Furthermore, youngsters can become aloof. The youth may prefer to share both important secrets and concerns with their pen friends on the web rather than with close relatives, which may lead to stopping trusting parents. However, to handle these problems parents should take the following measures. Firstly, parents should set time limits on using the Internet. There are many programs that shut down computers at an arranged time, so that addicted children can either go to be or do homework. Secondly, parents and children should also spend more time together. For example, fathers should often play football or visit basketball matches with their children, so that they can establish a trustful relationship with one another. In addition, parents should send children to play sports as well. To break a vicious connection between the Internet and children, parents also should attach them to different sports sections, such as karate and boxing. In conclusion, by spending time unlimitedlyonline may create many problems to children and their parents, but it is possible to tackle them by taking the above mentioned actions.
It is impossible to imagine daily life without the Internet.
However
, unrestricted virtual world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the youth. This essay will consider these effects and suggest solutions to them.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with difficulties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encounter, when they do not control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the virtual world. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
refuse to do homework. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend online, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they possess to do school assignment at home, which
adversely
affects their academic performance. Another concern is that eye
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can arise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
may develop poor eyesight, since they
usually
sit in front of monitors for long hours, resulting them in wearing glasses in the future.
Furthermore
, youngsters can become aloof. The youth may prefer to share both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
secrets and concerns with their pen friends on the web
rather
than with close relatives, which may lead to stopping trusting parents.

However
, to handle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take the following measures.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
limits on using the Internet. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs that shut down computers at an arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can either go to be or do homework.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
also
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.
For example
, fathers should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play football or visit basketball matches with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can establish a trustful relationship with one another.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play sports
as well
. To break a vicious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the Internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
should attach them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports sections, such as karate and boxing.

In conclusion
, by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
unlimitedlyonline
may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is possible to tackle them by taking the above mentioned actions.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised This can sometimes put them at risk What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet How can this problem be solved v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts