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More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the internet? How can that problem be solved? v.1

More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the internet? How can that problem be solved? v. 1
Today, teenagers are easy to access the internet anywhere. Without parent's monitoring, they are likely to put themselves in a dangerous situation. The essay will look at the problems for this and purpose some solutions. The main issue which parents usually face is that juveniles are addicted to online games. They spend the most time on the internet rather than doing their homework, which affects their grades at school. A solution is for their parents to limit children's leisure time playing games, apart from encouraging them to cultivate new habits, such as outdoor sports. Another problem is that many teenagers are so curious about anything that they may come into contact with strangers. It could happen that children are misguided to have some dangerous acts by people from the internet. To tackle this issue, their parents should keep an eye on children's online activities and talk to them about the dangers involving in using the internet. The third cause of the problem is that juveniles are influenced by society addicting to social media platforms, which results in falling into depression. This is because some teenagers care too much about their performance on Facebook or Instagram. Once they lose attention from friends or fans, it would end up with them having severe mental problems. However, it could be tackled by parents monitoring their time to use smartphones and encouraging children to hang out with friends. In conclusion, there is no doubt that internet use is an increasingly worrying issue, affecting both teenagers and parents. I believe everyone should take into account solving this problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are easy to access the internet anywhere. Without parent's monitoring, they are likely to put themselves in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation. The essay will look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for this and purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

The main issue which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
usually
face is that juveniles
are addicted
to online games. They spend the most time on the internet
rather
than doing their homework, which affects their grades at school. A solution is for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to limit children's leisure time playing games, apart from encouraging them to cultivate new habits, such as outdoor sports.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
curious about anything that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into contact with strangers. It could happen that children
are misguided
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
acts by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the internet. To tackle this issue, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on children's online activities and talk to them about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
involving in using the internet.

The third cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that juveniles
are influenced
by society addicting to social media platforms, which results in falling into depression. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
care too much about their performance on Facebook or Instagram. Once they lose attention from friends or fans, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with them having severe mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
However
, it could
be tackled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
monitoring their time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones and encouraging children to hang out with friends.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is an
increasingly
worrying issue, affecting both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I believe everyone should take into account solving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the internet? How can that problem be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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