Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This has can lead a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. Which problems do children face when going online without parents supervision? How can these problems be solved? v.1

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This has can lead a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. Which problems do children face when going online without parents supervision? How can these problems be solved? v. 1
These days many young children have no supervision on them while using internet to interact with others. This situation has results in dangerous circumstances for them. There are certain difficulties children face when opt online, and there are some solutions to cope with it. There are several problems of using internet by children without any supervision. To begin with, children could come across fake people online, which would be dangerous for them. The world of internet is very broad and identifying who is real is arduous, especially for children, as they are inexperienced and could easily be indulged in a bad activity or fake relationship, by evil individuals. A recent report by the Human Resource Department of the USA, for instance, showed a study that 4 out of 10 children are involved in false identities relationships in the year 2018, throughout the world. Another detrimental aspect of unsupervised usage of internet is that there are contents on the internet, which can be extremely damaging for children’s personality. There are vulnerable sites on the internet, to which if a child is exposed, can destroy his or her character significantly. Pornography or violence site, for example, has detrimental contents, which can immensely damage the upbringing of children. There are certain solutions to the above problems. Firstly, parents should check the activities of their children when they go online. Parental supervision can greatly contribute in the protection of their children, as they would not be able to visit sites, which are destructive for their minds and personalities. In addition, parents should limit the time children surf on the internet. This, in turn, would liable them to opt for internet only for educational or entertainment purposes for sometimes. They would not be attracted towards bad activities, as there would be limited time for them to spend on internet. Secondly, the government of a country should ban vulnerable sites and check on different websites. The world of internet is gigantic and critical solution for protecting children from detrimental contents, can only be adopted by the state, in order to ensure the internet provide to household use is safe for children. China, as an illustration, has adopted the strategy of banning all vulnerable resources in their country’s internet, which has resulted in the good development of their children. In conclusion, due to the unsupervised access to the internet, children are getting in dangerous situations. Facing fake people and vulnerable contents are associated with this phenomena, and parental supervision and the government controlling the contents of internet are some solutions to this issue.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supervision
on them while using internet to interact with others. This situation has results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
circumstances for them. There are certain difficulties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face when opt online, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to cope with it.

There are several problems of using internet by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supervision
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
online, which would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them. The world of internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
broad and identifying who is real is arduous,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as they
are inexperienced
and could
easily
be indulged
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activity or fake relationship, by evil individuals. A recent report by the Human Resource Department of the USA,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a study that 4 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are involved
in false identities relationships in the year 2018, throughout the world. Another detrimental aspect of unsupervised usage of internet is that there are contents on the internet, which can be
extremely
damaging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
on the internet, to which
Did you mean "is"?
if
a child
is exposed
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
character
significantly
. Pornography or violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
,
for example
, has detrimental contents, which can
immensely
damage the upbringing of children.

There are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to the above problems.
Firstly
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the activities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they go online. Parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supervision
can
greatly
contribute in the protection of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as they would not be able to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, which are destructive for their minds and personalities.
In addition
, parents should limit the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
surf on the internet. This, in turn, would liable them to opt for internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for educational or entertainment purposes for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. They would not
be attracted
towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities, as there would
be limited
time for them to spend on internet.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a country should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites. The world of internet is gigantic and critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from detrimental contents, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be adopted
by the state, in order to ensure the internet provide to household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. China, as an illustration, has adopted the strategy of banning all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
resources in their country’s internet, which has resulted in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development of their children.

In conclusion
, due to the unsupervised access to the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations. Facing fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vulnerable
contents
are associated
with
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena, and parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supervision
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
controlling the contents of internet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to this issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This has can lead a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. Which problems do children face when going online without parents supervision? How can these problems be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts