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Living in big cities is good for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

Living in big cities is good for people’s health. with the statement? v. 1
It is a common belief that there are some positive impacts on urban citizens’ health. While I think the high quality of medical services and facilities in city centers would bring several benefits to the public health, I still believe that the lifestyle in metropolitan areas also has detrimental effects on people’s health. It is true that living in cites is beneficial for people’s health to some certain extent. To begin with, urban inhabitants can easily access a great deal of fitness centers to improve their physical well-being and take stress off their mind, whereas those places are not provided in the countryside. Another reason worth mentioning is that compared to people living in rural areas, urban dwellers can access better health care and innovative technologies which can help them in diagnosing a variety of diseases such as diabetes or cancer at an early stage; therefore, they are effectively treated. Nevertheless, I would argue that some health problems seem to be the result of city life. The first reason to be given is that noise from construction sites and means of transportation would cause noise pollution, which leads to some illnesses such as hypertension or sleep disturbances. Besides, a few green spaces probably pose a threat to people’s health. In other words, there is a significant decrease in the number of parks since the growth of industrial buildings, which results in the fact that the atmosphere in cities is worse mainly because pollutants including exhaust emissions from vehicles are not made clear. Moreover, the hectic lifestyle might deprive people of their time to relax, which negatively affects their health. In conclusion, while I agree that the advantages that city life would bring to urban inhabitants are undeniable, I am of the opinion that living in metropolitan areas results in damage to people’s physical and mental health.
It is a common belief that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the high quality of medical services and facilities in city centers would bring several benefits to the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, I
still
believe that the lifestyle in metropolitan areas
also
has detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.

It is true that living in cites is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain extent. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
inhabitants can
easily
access a great deal of fitness centers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical well-being and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
off their mind, whereas those places are not provided in the countryside. Another reason worth mentioning is that compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in rural areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
dwellers can access better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and innovative technologies which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in diagnosing a variety of diseases such as diabetes or cancer at an early stage;
therefore
, they are
effectively
treated.

Nevertheless
, I would argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems seem to be the result of city life. The
first
reason to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is that noise from construction sites and means of transportation would cause noise pollution, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illnesses such as hypertension or sleep disturbances.
Besides
, a few green spaces
probably
pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In other words
, there is a significant decrease in the number of parks since the growth of industrial buildings, which results in the fact that the atmosphere in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is worse
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pollutants including exhaust emissions from vehicles are not made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
.
Moreover
, the hectic lifestyle might deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their time to relax, which
negatively
affects their health.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the advantages that city life would bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
inhabitants are undeniable, I am of the opinion that living in metropolitan areas results in damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in big cities is good for people’s health. with the statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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