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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.21

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 21
In the current world, visual media has a huge presence across the globe. Television is being widely used as a supplement for education by students. In my opinion, books can never be replaced by television as a means of learning gadget. This can be proven by analysing how books have the advantage that they can focus on a particular subject deeply as well as provide time flexibility. A particular book focuses on a specific subject. As most of the programs on the television are sponsored by an organisation, advertisement runs at regular intervals between the programs people watch. In the case of books, advertisements are very rare and thus there are limited distractions on learning a subject. Moreover, we can turn back the pages we have covered, if any, doubt arises reading the further topics. As per the report released on 25th September 2015, bay the Week magazine, 90% of the school students prefer the books over the television for educational purposes. Thus books have an edge over television. Television programmes are aimed to entertain people when there are very few educative channels for students. Moreover, there is no surety that a student would spend his time in front of the TV. Another important advantage books have been the ability of the readers to choose the time to read as per their convenience. It is a fact that some students like to read in the early morning while some others in the evening, so that they have maximum concentration. But in case of television, unless we have digital storage devices like DVD or USB drive; it is not possible to play as we need. Furthermore, most of the television programmes have a schedule and the students need to be punctual in case they need to attend it. The book gives the users to plan their time as per their wish. As a conclusion, it is obvious that the books have an advantage over television, as it provides deeper concentration on the subjects and better time management. It is predicted that a few subjects, which requires visual effect to understand, may choose television as a mean of the learning tool.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, visual media has a huge presence across the globe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is being
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a supplement for education by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can never
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as a means of learning gadget. This can
be proven
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have the advantage that they can focus on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
deeply
as well
as provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
flexibility.

A particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
focuses on a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. As most of the programs on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are sponsored
by an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, advertisement runs at regular intervals between the programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. In the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, advertisements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare and
thus
there
are limited
distractions on learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Moreover
, we can turn back the pages we have covered, if any, doubt arises reading the
further
topics. As per the report released on 25th September 2015, bay the Week magazine, 90% of the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for educational purposes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have an edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are aimed
to entertain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few educative channels for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
, there is no surety that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would spend his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the TV.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have been the ability of the readers to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to read as per their convenience. It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like to read in the early morning while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others in the evening,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have maximum concentration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, unless we have digital storage devices like DVD or USB drive; it is not possible to play as we need.
Furthermore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
have a schedule and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to be punctual in case they need to attend it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
gives the users to plan their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as per their wish.

As a conclusion, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have an advantage over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, as it provides deeper concentration on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management. It
is predicted
that a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which requires visual effect to understand, may choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as a mean of the learning tool.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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