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More and more adults are playing computer games. why do you think is the reason for this. what are the good and bad things about playing computer games. v.1

More and more adults are playing computer games. why do you think is the reason for this. what are the good and bad things about playing computer games. v. 1
Playing computer games excites many! More and more adults are inclined towards computer games. This essay will discuss both the negative and positive aspects of computer games, and provide the reason for its popularity among adults. Because of the technological advancements and affordability, these games are reachable to many. For instance, most computer games can be played on smartphones too. These games offer single-player and multiplayer modes. Therefore, this virtual reality gives the player realtime enjoyment in the virtual world and also eliminates the need for the other players to be physically present. The good thing about computer games is that they can be played in all seasons and climates, making them all season and climate-friendly. Research shows that computer games help in building cognitive and analytical skills among people. However, there are some negatives associated with these games. Playing computer games for long hours is detrimental to health; for example, it may cause eye strains, a headache that even may lead to serious health problems if not well-taken care of on time. Spending more time playing these games may also have an effect on family life as people tend to spend much of their time online, thus reducing the amount of their family time and bonding. In conclusion, Many grown-ups are playing computer games because of technological advancements, affordability, and availability of these games. These electronic games may continue to engage more and more people as technology progresses and the user experience is further enhanced by making them more interactive and virtually realistic as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
excites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
! More and more adults
are inclined
towards computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and provide the reason for its popularity among adults.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the technological advancements and affordability, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are reachable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
For instance
, most computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
be played
on smartphones too. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
offer single-player and multiplayer modes.
Therefore
, this virtual reality gives the player
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtime
enjoyment in the virtual world and
also
eliminates the need for the other players to be
physically
present.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing about computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that they can
be played
in all seasons and climates, making them all season and climate-friendly. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building cognitive and analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives associated with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for long hours is detrimental to health;
for example
, it may cause eye strains, a headache that even may lead to serious health problems if not well-taken care of on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may
also
have an effect on family life as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to spend much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online,
thus
reducing the amount of their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and bonding.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
grown-ups are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological advancements, affordability, and availability of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. These electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may continue to engage more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as technology progresses and the user experience is
further
enhanced by making them more interactive and
virtually
realistic as possible.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more adults are playing computer games. why do you think is the reason for this. what are the good and bad things about playing computer games. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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