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Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with this view? v.2

Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with this view? v. 2
International sports play a vital role in our lives. Competitions and racing are often played in this era, that make people think sports are useless, a waste of time. This essay will discuss how those people are wrong because sports learn human beings how to work as a team and it's a lifestyle. At the beginning, sports make people and fans happy because of getting thrown their work stress away. As an example, if someone returns back home from work and just watch his favourite team playing; just a good feeling to him. Otherwise, attending matches in the playground and begin to encourage your team; emotional felling makes human happy. Secondly, youth people inspired by players practicing sports and want to become like them. Sports prevents youth from doing troubles in their age like smoking drugs, however, the sportsman must be in a good health in addition, this prevent youth from smoking cigarettes and Drugs. Another feature for competitions it creates the socialism between individuals and teach them how to work as a team, like football, all players help each other to score goals and win matches this sort of cooperation create the desire to achieve work as a team. Not only this matter, but also, sports taught us how to work hard to achieve our mission successfully. Example of that the athletics trained every day about six hours for a year or more to prepare for the championship and that to do good jobs in these races. Generally, sports neither waste time nor effort. It's a social game and learn how human beings should act. Also, throw work stress away; by watching games or competitions. it's an emotional games learn us how to accept our defeats before our vectories
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Competitions and racing are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
played in this era, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are useless, a waste of time. This essay will discuss how those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
learn human beings how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and it's a lifestyle.

At the beginning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and fans happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of getting thrown their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
away. As an example, if someone
Consider using "returns".
returns back
home from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
playing;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feeling to him.
Otherwise
, attending matches in the playground and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to encourage your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
; emotional felling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
human happy.
Secondly
, youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inspired by players practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and want to become like them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
youth from doing troubles in their age like smoking drugs,
however
, the sportsman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health
in addition
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
youth from smoking cigarettes
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


Drugs.

Another feature for competitions it creates the socialism between individuals and teach them how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, like football, all players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to score goals and win matches this sort of cooperation create the desire to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
taught us how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve our mission
successfully
. Example of that the athletics trained every day about six hours for a year or more to prepare for the championship and that to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs in these races.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
neither waste time nor effort. It's a social game and learn how human beings should act.
Also
, throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
away; by watching games or competitions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
's an emotional
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "game"?
games
learn us how to accept our defeats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
vectories
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with this view? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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