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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. what are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? v.1

Without any shred of doubt, nowadays, owing to advancement in technology everyone including all age groups are fully dependent on computers. Children has inclined towards video games and they spend more time by sticking on computer which is not beneficial for them. To embark on, the major drawback of excessive use of computer is that it leads to lower academic grades because once a child starts to play video games, he become addicted to complete all levels of games. He can not resist himself to stop playing for long period which also become the reason of his weak eyesight. It will be the huge loss for him in the long run. A painstaking research has had conducted which disclose that two-third juveniles face failure in their examinations just because of unnecessarily use of computer such as play games. Moving towards next disadvantage, children need to perform some physical activities including exercises as well as outdoor games for their holistic development and children drop their mood to take part in extracurricular activities. Moreover, they become unable to interact with people which is the significant reason of lessen in confidence level. Last but not least, while playing games, they start to browse internet without supervision of parents which is not advantageous for them as they can access things which are not suitable as per their age. As every garden has weeds, this problem also has solutions. In order to eradicate this issue, children should not be authenticated to use computers, instead parents should make proper schedule for them so that they can easily cope with their studies also. Furthermore, both government as well as local authority should spread awareness about downsides of more usage of computers. Also, school authority should include physical education as a compulsory subject which will help to develop interest to participate in such games rather than video games. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate my view that children should use computer only for limited time because although computers are boon for society, but excessive use of anything put detrimental impact on them. So,

Without any shred of doubt, nowadays, owing to advancement in technology everyone including all age groups are fully
 dependent on computers. Possible agreement error.Child hasChildren have
Children has
 inclined towards video Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).games, and
games and
 they spend more time by sticking on computer which is not beneficial for them.

To embark on, the major drawback of excessive This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of computer is that it leads to lower academic grades This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 once a child This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiates
starts
 to play video You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
, he become addicted to complete all levels of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
. He can not resist himself to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :terminateceasediscontinue
stop
 playing for long period which also
 become the reason of his weak eyesight. It will be the huge loss for him in the long run. A painstaking research has had conducted which disclose that two-third juveniles face failure in their examinations This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of unnecessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of computer such as play games.

Moving towards next
 disadvantage, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 need to perform This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 physical activities including exercises as well
 as outdoor You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 for their holistic development and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 drop their mood to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :participate
take part
 in extracurricular activities. Moreover
, they become unable to interact with This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 which is the significant reason of lessen in confidence level. Last This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 not least, while playing You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
, they This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
 to browse internet without supervision of parents which is not advantageous for them as they can access things which are not suitable as per their age.

As every garden has weeds, this problem also
 has solutions. In order to eradicate this issue, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 should not be authenticated
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 computers, instead
 parents should This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 proper schedule for them This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that they can easily
 cope with their studies also
. Furthermore
, both This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
Probable usage error. Use “and” after ‘both’.and
as well as
 local authority should spread awareness about downsides of more usage of computers. Also
, school authority should include physical education as a compulsory subject which will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 to develop interest to participate in such You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
rather
 than video games.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate my view that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 should This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 computer This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 for limited time This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 although computers are boon for society, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 excessive This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of anything put detrimental impact on them. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
So
, 