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Money has always been a prime driving force for people but as we move into the technogical age we seem to be driven more and more by pursuit of money. v.1

Money has always been a prime driving force for people but as we move into the technogical age we seem to be driven more and more by pursuit of money. v. 1
"Love if money is the root of all evil, similarly lack of money is the root of all evil " We live in a society, which is surrounded by sorrows, sufferings, grief and happiness. We often try to make our souls happy through spiritual deeds and materialistic things. Money is a prime source of livelihood. No one can denies it. As we are moving into technological age people seem to be driven more and more by the pursuit of wealth. The main idea which influence the above idea is the money is the main source of medium as well as livelihood. No one in this world can survive for a longer period without payment. Another factor can be, we live in a world that encourages the relentless quest of more money. No matter how much one has or earn, the society still believes that more is better. One always act as if it is better to invest more time and energy to earn and accumulate. People tend to have fear and insecurities of not having enough wealth. Which leads to pursuit of same more and more. People started thinking that the more wealth one accumulated the better for future consequences for instance, can have medical, education facilities, can protect them from being poor so on. To conclude, I personally believe that money plays an important role in our life and it is true that society is driven more and more by hunt of wealth because now a day's wealth seems to be everything thing. And it is partially correct to say that it is.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the root of all evil,
similarly
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the root of all evil
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society, which
is surrounded
by sorrows, sufferings, grief and happiness. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our souls happy through spiritual deeds and materialistic things.

Money is a prime source of livelihood. No one can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "deny"
denies
it. As we are moving into technological age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to
be driven
more and more by the pursuit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. The main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which influence the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the main source of medium
as well
as livelihood. No one in this world can survive for a longer period without payment. Another factor can be, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world that encourages the relentless quest of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. No matter how much one has or earn, the society
still
believes that more is better. One always act as if it is better to invest more time and energy to earn and accumulate.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to have fear and insecurities of not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. Which leads to pursuit of same more and more.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
thinking that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
one accumulated the better for future consequences
for instance
, can have medical, education facilities, can protect them from being poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

To conclude
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life and it is true that society
is driven
more and more by hunt of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
seems to be everything thing. And it is
partially
correct to say that it is.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Money has always been a prime driving force for people but as we move into the technogical age we seem to be driven more and more by pursuit of money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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