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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 15
Development in the field of technology has significantly changed our methods of watching movies. Therefore, viewers argue that, since they can watch movies at home using their electronic devices consequently, they don't need to go to the movie theatres anymore to watch films, whereas the others perceive that watching pictures in cinemas has a great experience. According to me, it is a debatable issue. A revolution has been brought to the world of cinema with the introduction of the internet, compact disks and other electronic devices; nowadays, a plenty of people enjoy watching movies at home in their leisure time and even during the busiest day, just by sparing a few hours from their hectic schedule. However, the day, since movies are available online, people don't have to step out of their homes and also don't require going through congested traffic on the roads to reach theatres and they can simply look up for the latest releases and watch them without paying a single penny. Furthermore, during the latest outbreak of the novel virus mankind has to isolate themselves and watching films at home has been conveniently helping individuals, to bind themselves to their homes and avoiding nonessential outing. On the other hand, going outside with the loved ones, walking to the theatre while holding their hands has its own level of enjoyment and fun. These days people are falling behind in their relations and humans have become materialistic and they don't have time for their families. As a result, the issues of domestic violence are rapidly increasing and the married couples are breaking up with each other. Although, going in public is not always safe, but the males and females should go out with their families or partners to watch pictures in the cinemas together, hence, it allows them to spend some quality time together and always make them feel the newness in their relationship. Furthermore, it's not an affordable substitute for everybody and people don't always have time to go outside. . In conclusion, I firmly believe that both of the ways are suitable and can be adopted according to the circumstances and availability of time.
Development in the field of technology has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our methods of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Therefore
, viewers argue that, since they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home using their electronic devices
consequently
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
need to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
anymore to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films, whereas the others perceive that watching pictures in cinemas has a great experience.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is a debatable issue.

A revolution has
been brought
to the world of cinema with the introduction of the internet, compact disks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
electronic devices; nowadays, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and even during the busiest day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sparing a few hours from their hectic schedule.
However
, the day, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are available online,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
step out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
require going through congested traffic on the roads to reach
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
theatres and
they can
simply
look up for the latest releases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them without paying a single penny.
Furthermore
, during the latest outbreak of the novel virus mankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
isolate themselves and watching films at home has been
conveniently
helping individuals, to bind themselves to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and avoiding nonessential outing.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, going outside with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, walking to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
while holding their hands has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level of enjoyment and fun. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are falling behind in their relations and humans have become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
materialistic and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their families.
As a result
, the issues of domestic violence are
rapidly
increasing and the married couples are breaking up with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Although, going in public is not always safe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the males and females should go out with their families or partners to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
pictures in the cinemas together,
hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel the newness in their relationship.
Furthermore
, it's not an affordable substitute for everybody and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
always have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go outside.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that both of the ways are suitable and can
be adopted
according to the circumstances and availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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