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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v.7

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 7
It is a fact that with advanced technologies, we could easily access and exchange information about an individual or an organisation through the internet. Although some people think that it is beneficial, others believe that it brings more threat to every individual's safety. The following essay will discuss it in details. It is true that we are living in a high technology era, where as information about persons, companies, states and even countries are stored online. With this technology, people could easily obtain and swap information with others. For certain people, they believe this advanced technology is beneficial for them, as it has assisted them in accomplishing their projects. For example, when a secret agent needs to investigate a murder case, he might need some personal information about the victim's relatives and friends. And with online technology, he could easily get all the required information, which will help him in solving the case. Despite all the benefits, uncontrolled access and exchange of information have some negative effects on our lives. It is reported that it has been frequently used by certain people for criminal activities. One of the common examples is about credit card database. Many credit card pins are stolen and used inappropriately. And then, sometimes an individual database is also hacked, as his personal database is used for any illegal acts by the hacker himself. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree that easy access and exchange to information have some advantages for our lives, but we should never forget that it has many disadvantages as well. I personally believe that there should be some clear regulation about it and the government should monitor it strictly.
It is a fact that with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, we could
easily
access and exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about an individual or an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
through the internet. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is beneficial, others believe that it brings more threat to every individual's safety. The following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

It is true that we are living in a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
era,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about persons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, states and even countries
are stored
online. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
easily
obtain and swap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with others. For certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they believe this advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is beneficial for them, as it has assisted them in accomplishing their projects.
For example
, when a secret agent needs to investigate a murder case, he might need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the victim's relatives and friends. And with online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, he could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him in solving the case.

Despite all the benefits, uncontrolled access and exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
is reported
that it has been
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for criminal activities. One of the common examples is about
Consider using a past participle here: "credited".
credit
card database.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
credit card pins
are stolen
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
inappropriately
. And then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
an individual database is
also
hacked, as his personal database is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for any illegal acts by the hacker himself.

In conclusion
, to a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that easy access and exchange to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should never forget that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages
as well
. I
personally
believe that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
regulation about it and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should monitor it
strictly
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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