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Are computers essential features of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers? v.1

Are computers essential features of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers? v. 1
The world has witnessed many rapid changes in almost all areas including education, after the invention of the computer and this tool has become an essential part in many new sectors. The education sector is no exception and the modern education system is so deeply rooted in the computer and internet technology that without these two, modern educations would become meaningless. Who could have thought only 40 years ago that computer would be used in rural classrooms, modern online based distance education system and in medical colleges? In fact, the modernization in education was possible because of the invention and widespread uses of the computer and internet technology. From physics to aeronautical engineering, chemistry to modern arts, computers are used in everywhere. A complex chemical reaction can be simulated using a computer, the trainee pilots can simulate the real flight in a computer system and even the students in fine arts can learn the digital arts which are created using computers. The changes in education and uses of computers have become a common phenomenon nowadays and a school without a computer lab is considered a primitive one. Math, Physics, Chemistry, engineering, medical, business & commerce subjects can all be better taught using computers. Even arts subjects can be better taught using computers. Subjects that directly involve computers like computer science, computer engineering, electrical engineering, graphics designing etc. can’t be conducted without the help of computers. There are still some aspects of education that require human touches and involvements and can’t be done using a computer. For instance, teaching morality, discipline and responsibility are done by teachers apart from delivering lectures on subject matters and that can’t be done using machines. A student learns many more aspects from the teachers and classmates and that can’t be done using computers. The creativity and leadership quality are two other aspects that are nurtured and inspired by humans and machine can’t take responsibilities for these issues. In summary, computers can enhance the scope of better education in almost all of the subjects except teaching some values and moralities of life that can only be taught by humans.
The world has witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in almost all areas including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, after the invention of the computer and this tool has become an essential part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new sectors. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector is no exception and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deeply
rooted
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the computer".
in the computer
and internet technology that without these two,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
would become meaningless.

Who could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40 years ago that computer would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in rural classrooms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
online based distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and in medical colleges? In fact, the modernization in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the invention and widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of the computer and internet technology.

From physics to aeronautical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, chemistry to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in everywhere. A complex chemical reaction can
be simulated
using a computer, the trainee pilots can simulate the real flight in a computer system and even the students in fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can learn the digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which
are created
using computers. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of computers have become a common phenomenon nowadays and a school without a computer lab
is considered
a primitive one. Math, Physics, Chemistry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, medical, business & commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can all be better taught using computers. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can be better taught using computers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
that
directly
involve computers like computer science, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, graphics designing etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
be conducted
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers.

There are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that require human touches and involvements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
be done
using a computer.
For instance
, teaching morality, discipline and responsibility
are done
by teachers apart from delivering lectures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
matters and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
be done
using machines. A student learns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more aspects from the teachers and classmates and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
be done
using computers. The creativity and leadership quality are two other aspects that
are nurtured
and inspired by humans and machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
take responsibilities for these issues.

In summary, computers can enhance the scope of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
except teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
values and moralities of life that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
by humans.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Are computers essential features of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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