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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v.5

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 5
It is true that with the rapid development of technology, people have unlimited access to various information and exchange database freely these days. Despite all benefits, some people believe that it is harmful and dangerous for our communities. To a certain point I would agree that it could be dangerous, but if we have proper control over technological use then it would be useful from many aspects. On one hand, the advance development of modern technology has allowed people to gain access to so many websites, database, and information hub and to exchange them. All governments and companies are using computer technology to store and maintain their confidential information these days. Certain people believe that the development is dangerous for our societies as it could be misused for any crime activities. For example, a computer hacker might have access to a bank information system and use a person's credit card number. In another case, the hacker might steal top secret information from the government and sell them to the terrorists. Despite all the treats, the easy access to information system has brought countless benefits to the humankind. Firstly, with the development of the internet technology, scientists could effectively perform their research. By having access to so many websites, it has saved a lot of the scientists’ time when they have to investigate things, rather than to go to the library and search for books and journals. Secondly, with the easy access to information system, it also helps students in learning new things. In the past, students only got information through books, but these days they can learn from various platforms. For example, when they want to learn new things, they can also learn from another format such as video. There are thousands of free video websites such as YouTube and Vimeo, where they can access them and find some informative lessons. Having central databases of citizens is a great way for the government to tackle illegal immigration, crime and social problems. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the easy access to various information and exchange of database could be harmful to the humankind. However, I also believe that this development also brings a lot of benefits to the societies, as scientists have become more effective in doing their researches. I personally believe that the government should have a strict regulation about the access and design a proper control system which would prevent the misuse of the information.
It is true that with the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and exchange database
freely
these days. Despite all benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is harmful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our communities. To a certain point I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we have proper control over technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
then it would be useful from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

On one hand, the advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites, database, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
hub and to exchange them. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to store and maintain their confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
these days. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our societies as it could
be misused
for any crime activities.
For example
, a computer hacker might have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to a bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a person's credit card number. In another case, the hacker might steal top secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and sell them to the terrorists.

Despite all the treats, the easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has brought countless benefits to the humankind.
Firstly
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, scientists could
effectively
perform their research. By having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites, it has saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the scientists’ time when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
investigate things,
rather
than to go to the library and search for books and journals.
Secondly
, with the easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students in learning new things. In the past, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through books,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days they can learn from various platforms.
For example
, when they want to learn new things, they can
also
learn from another format such as video. There are thousands of free video websites such as YouTube and Vimeo, where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
them and find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
informative lessons. Having central databases of citizens is a great way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to tackle illegal immigration, crime and social problems.

In conclusion
, to a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and exchange of database could be harmful to the humankind.
However
, I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the societies, as scientists have become more effective in doing their researches. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have a strict regulation about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
and design a proper control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the misuse of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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