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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.8

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 8
It is true that with the rapid development of modern technology, people have a good chance to gain valuable information and exchange database freely all the time. Despite benefits, some people believe that it is harmful and detrimental to our communities. I totally disagree with the idea that the advantages and threat of technology outweigh the advancement it brought for us. On the one hand, it is undeniable the modern technology has an important role to play in many aspects of our lives especially it makes a great contribution to search for a wide range of information. Firstly, the easy access to information system gives countless benefits to the students who take majority of time in collecting the database from various sources of information. For example, millions of students are able to access the internet in anywhere instead of going to the library. Secondly, with advances in modern technology sharing information became much easier than before. For instance, if students would have a conversation with other people. In the past, they have to travel or have to exchange via written letters but with video conferencing which is the outcome of the digital revolution enable people to exchange ideas without traveling. On the other hand, there are powerful reasons why some people consider that the development of technology has a negative impact on out society. First reason that it is dangerous as it could be misused for any crime activities. One disadvantage of computers is that computer hackers may be able to discover your personal details such as bank account information. Second reason that children who spend too much time in front of screen computer are getting addicted to the online game. As a result, young people are isolated by a community and are less likely to encourage real interaction. In conclusion, I would agree that limited access and share information have some advantages for our lives but we should never forget that it has many disadvantages as well. I personally believe that government should introduce and adopt policies strictly about it.
It is true that with the rapid development of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to gain valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and exchange database
freely
all the time. Despite benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is harmful and detrimental to our communities. I
totally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the advantages and threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outweigh the advancement it brought for us.

On the one hand, it is undeniable the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
especially
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a great contribution to search for a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Firstly
, the easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
system gives countless benefits to the students who take
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
time in collecting the database from various sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
For example
, millions of students are able to access the internet in anywhere
instead
of going to the library.
Secondly
, with advances in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
became much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, if students would have a conversation with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the past, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
exchange via written letters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with video conferencing which is the outcome of the digital revolution enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
without traveling.

On the other hand
, there are powerful reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on out society.
First
reason that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it could
be misused
for any crime activities. One disadvantage of computers is that computer hackers may be able to discover your personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
such as bank account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Second reason that children who spend too much time in front of screen computer are getting addicted to the online game.
As a result
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are isolated
by a community and are less likely to encourage real interaction.

In conclusion
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that limited access and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should never forget that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages
as well
. I
personally
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce and adopt policies
strictly
about it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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