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modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people together through communication. it also has disadvantages such as destroying differences between cultures. To what extent agree or disagree v.6

modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people together through communication. it also has disadvantages such as destroying differences between cultures. 6
With the advent of newer technologies in the field of communication, people could come under one umbrella. It is adversely affected to some of the communities by mixing up of different cultures to form a new one. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above mentioned statement. on one hand, it became much easier and convenient for the people to gather with a common vision on a particular subject or a specific idea, because of the newer inventions, which made conveying of a message much easier. For instance, in a protest which was organised against the current government of Egypt in 2014, nearly 40, 000 people participated merely with a three days of advertisements through the social medias. Hence this newer explorations became inevitable and pivotal on the other in the human' s life. on the other hand, the newer advancements in this are became a ground and helped to expand the globalization, which gradually helped other cultures to intrude into the indigenous communities. in other words, it mixed the cultures with one another to form a new one. For example most of the Indian Metropolitan cities are following western traditions, mainly in the field of fashion and in their dietary, as the western companies took the Upper Hand in these in the Cities. in conclusion, though it is inevitable that a minor drawback to happen with any new inventions, but the advancement particularly in the field of communication made humans to travel a long distance.
With the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newer
technologies in the field of communication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under one umbrella. It is
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
communities by mixing up of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures to form a new one. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above mentioned statement.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
one hand, it became much easier and convenient for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to gather with a common vision on a particular subject or a specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newer
inventions, which made conveying of a message much easier.
For instance
, in a protest which was
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Egypt in 2014,
nearly
40, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
participated
merely
with a three days of advertisements through the social medias.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newer
explorations became inevitable and pivotal on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s life.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newer
advancements in this are
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
a ground and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to expand the globalization, which
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures to intrude into the indigenous communities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it mixed the cultures with one another to form a new one.
For example
most of the Indian Metropolitan cities are following western traditions,
mainly
in the field of fashion and in their dietary, as the western
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
took the Upper Hand in these in the Cities.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, though it is inevitable that a minor drawback to happen with any new inventions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advancement
particularly
in the field of communication made humans to travel a long distance.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people together through communication. it also has disadvantages such as destroying differences between cultures. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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