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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.54

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 54
Despite the fact that enormous modern technologies are used in order to make the advances in agriculture, many people do not have enough food to eat. There are many reasons to explain this issue, including social, economic, and environmental-related problems. In this essay, I will answer the questions of why people in the world undergo this problem and how to solve this issue adequately. It is evident that many nations have made some improvements to their agriculture such as changing suitable methods of farming for particular seeds by using technological advances. However, these improvements do not mean the famine of food can be solved. Environmentally speaking, most of the lands are not fertile sufficiently to grow plants because of soil erosion, or they have a rugged geographic location. Take Thai Binh, an impoverished province in Vietnam, as an example, the irrigation system cannot be constructed since most of its land is mountains. Meanwhile, water is one of the essential factors in cultivation; without water, how plants can grow up? Climate change, besides, also causes the famine. Extreme drought weather does not allow people to cultivate the crops. For instance, in some Africa country, it has not rained in years, and we can see the famine seriously in these regions nowadays. Another contributing factor is the poverty since food scarcity can affect only the poor people. It is difficult for impoverished people to access the modern agriculture machines because they lack this purchasing power. Furthermore, most of the poor people do not own any land to grow their own food while there is no money buying the food. In order to solve this problem, the governments need to ensure that food is available for the poor for free or at concessional rates, and also the gap between the poor and the rich should be reduced significantly. One further response includes long-term investments such as improving cultivation conditions, diminishing environmental pollution, and furthermore giving more job opportunities to poor people. For example, communities and organizations can construct factories relating to agriculture to employ residents as the principal workforce. To sum up, hunger continues to haunt millions of people because of many factors such as the changes of climate and wealth distribution. However, this situation can be solved optimally with the appropriate solutions from many aspects of society.
Despite the fact that enormous modern technologies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to eat. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this issue, including social, economic, and environmental-related problems. In this essay, I will answer the questions of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world undergo this problem and how to solve this issue
adequately
.

It is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
improvements to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
such as changing suitable methods of farming for particular seeds by using technological advances.
However
, these improvements do not mean the famine of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be solved
.
Environmentally
speaking, most of the lands are not fertile
sufficiently
to grow plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of soil erosion, or they have a rugged geographic location. Take Thai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Binh
, an impoverished province in Vietnam, as an example, the irrigation system cannot
be constructed
since most of its land is mountains. Meanwhile, water is one of the essential factors in cultivation; without water, how plants can grow up? Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
besides
,
also
causes the famine. Extreme drought weather does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cultivate the crops.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Africa country, it has not rained in years, and we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the famine
seriously
in these regions nowadays. Another contributing factor is the poverty since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity can affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is difficult for impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
machines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack this purchasing power.
Furthermore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
any land to grow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while there is no money buying the food.

In order to solve this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
for free or at concessional rates, and
also
the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and the rich should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
. One
further
response includes long-term investments such as improving cultivation conditions, diminishing environmental pollution, and
furthermore
giving more job opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, communities and organizations can construct factories relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
to employ residents as the principal workforce.

To sum up, hunger continues to haunt millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of climate and wealth distribution.
However
, this situation can
be solved
optimally
with the appropriate solutions from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 54

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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