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Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 1
Recent technical trends ruling the people to get used by technologies such as mobile, laptop, internet communication, and social application. It has tremendous pros in the real world, even though some people believe, it eradicates the culture and tradition of one nation. In my opinion, I completely agree, modern technology devotes abundant features to the people for their evolution of life style however, it has some negative impacts as well. To start with the latest technology influence, according to the survey which is conducted by the Network Administration Department, now 93. 6% of people using a mobile phone with an internet connection. As a consequence, most of them are introvert. Because technology simplifies the human physical effort. To illustrate, Google has invented and developed the most phenomenon feature called voice recognition. Through that, we could do order food online, book transport and, most significantly it manages the timeline of human manual work. On the contrary, most of the people spending their precious time on playing games, chatting and surfing on the internet. As a consequence, several people failed to do their chores effectively. In addition to that, nowadays school students are overwhelming in these kinds of activities. Therefore, they are not able to do the exam well. To examine what I mean, before 10 years, children are used to playing games on the local ground with their friends in the area where they are living. But today the situation is like, everyone spending their leisure time only on electronic devices. To put it in a nutshell, it is apparent that, recent technology would always give people to get smarter and also it changes the way how we live in before. In my perspective, the people who tend to use the technology in a better way would get great prospects.
Recent technical trends ruling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as mobile, laptop, internet communication, and social application. It has tremendous pros in the real world,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, it eradicates the culture and tradition of one nation. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
devotes abundant features to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their evolution of life style
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
influence, according to the survey which
is conducted
by the Network Administration Department,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
93. 6% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using a mobile phone with an internet connection. As a consequence, most of them are introvert.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
simplifies the human physical effort. To illustrate, Google has invented and developed the most phenomenon feature called voice recognition. Through that, we could do order food online, book transport and, most
significantly
it manages the timeline of human manual work.

On the contrary
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending their precious time on playing games, chatting and surfing on the internet. As a consequence, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
failed to do their chores
effectively
.
In addition
to that, nowadays school students are overwhelming in these kinds of activities.
Therefore
, they are not able to do the exam well. To examine what I mean,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
10 years, children are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to playing games on the local ground with their friends in the area where they are living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the situation is like, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "spends", "spent".
spending
their leisure time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on electronic devices.

To put it in a nutshell, it is apparent that, recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would always give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
smarter and
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the way how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In my perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in a better way would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great prospects.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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