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Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 2
Technology has impacted every aspect of our lives, including our approach to communication. However, some people feel that it has the power to destroy various traditions as well. I strongly believe that technological advancements are definitely a great boon for mankind and this essay will discuss the reasons behind my viewpoint. First and foremost advantage of technology is that it changed the way people communicate with each other. Before few decades, people used traditional communication methods such as letters and telephone to keep contact with their families and friends; but now it is possible to contact anyone around the globe in a single click, irrespective of time and location. For instance, through social media applications including Facebook and Instagram, individuals can follow their peers and get updated with their latest news. Thus, cutting-edge-technologies, indeed, bring people together and closer. Another considerable benefit of technology is its capability to bring various cultures together. Due to the evolution of internet, common people can better understand the cultures and traditions of different countries. Through YouTube, for example, people from one country can watch food preparation videos from various parts of the world and they can get acquainted with such food items. As a result, the world becomes globalized and people can mingle with other cultures and by this way, the quality of life would be improved, especially from the developing world. To conclude, although internet technology would globalise various traditions and cultures, I firmly believe that the flexibility and convenience of modern communication methods would be a huge benefit for mankind to explore new horizons in their lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has impacted every aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, including our approach to communication.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that it has the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
traditions
as well
. I
strongly
believe that technological advancements are definitely a great boon for mankind and this essay will discuss the reasons behind my viewpoint.

First
and foremost advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
traditional communication methods such as letters and telephone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
contact with their families and friends;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is possible to contact anyone around the globe in a single click, irrespective of time and location.
For instance
, through social media applications including Facebook and Instagram, individuals can follow their peers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated with their latest news.
Thus
,

cutting-edge-technologies,
indeed
, bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and closer.

Another considerable benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is its capability to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together. Due to the evolution of internet, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can better understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. Through YouTube,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
food preparation videos from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
parts of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with such food items.
As a result
, the world becomes globalized and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can mingle with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and by this way, the quality of life would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
especially
from the developing world.

To conclude
, although internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalise' and 'globalize') within a single text.
globalise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
traditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, I
firmly
believe that the flexibility and convenience of modern communication methods would be a huge benefit for mankind to explore new horizons in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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