Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 3
In this contemporary world, the advancement of technology is altering the world. People are using technology in their daily life for conversations. Information technology has helped people to connect from different parts of the world and the other side of this, it is creating cultural differences between the society. In this essay, I will explain the pros and cons of modernization and finally, give my opinion. On one hand, Twenty First century is earmarked by the development of technology that has changed the life of people entirely ranging from youth to aged people. The benefits of modern technology are a mass. Web development, Mobile apps has helped people to assist things with a press of a button. Additionally, Video calling, group calling, web conference at remote areas have been possible. one gets in touch with their family or friends who are sitting in abroad as and when he wants, whereas this would not have been possible without the development of technology. Furthermore, it has made online business very feasible. E-commerce sites act as a bridge between customers and product owners to sell and buy goods. In short, people can connect to each other with the help of technology. On the other hand, improvements in technology are helping people to a large extent, but they do have disadvantages with them. The most significant one is the mixing of different cultures which has led youth to lose their identity. For example, Westernisation of traditional cultures, which we can see in the growing number of fast food outlets. Moreover, people are not celebrating their own traditional festivals. In other words, modernization of technology has some side effects on the society. In conclusion, I agree to a great extent that technology is bringing people closer together, but people need to very careful that these improvements does not impact their cultures, language and dressing.
In this contemporary world, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is altering the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in their daily life for conversations. Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of this, it is creating cultural differences between the society. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the pros and cons of modernization and
finally
, give my opinion.

On one hand, Twenty
First
century
is earmarked
by the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entirely
ranging from youth to aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The benefits of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are a mass. Web development, Mobile apps has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to assist things with a press of a button.
Additionally
, Video calling, group calling, web conference at remote areas have been possible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in touch with their family or friends who are sitting in abroad as and when he wants, whereas this would not have been possible without the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Furthermore
, it has made online business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
feasible. E-commerce sites act as a bridge between customers and product owners to sell and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a large extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do have disadvantages with them. The most significant one is the mixing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures which has led youth to lose their identity.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Westernisation' is British English.
Westernisation
of traditional cultures, which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the growing number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food outlets.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not celebrating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional festivals. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, modernization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effects on the society.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a great extent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful that these improvements does not impact their cultures, language and dressing.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts