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Modern lifestyle is completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that the changes have been very positive while some others believe they have negative. v.1

Modern lifestyle is completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that the changes have been very positive while some others believe they have negative. v. 1
People's lifestyle is changing tremendously in each year. People shape their life pattern with regard to the emerging trends of the society. Some people uphold it as a positive trend, while others have reservations about it. In my opinion, modern lifestyle poses more disadvantages than advantages. On the one hand, there are some merits due to the advent of a new style of life. Firstly, in today’s life people accept the life pattern which is convenient. Since there are troves of resources or choices to adapt, they absorb the most suitable version so they feel more comfortable. Moreover, the modern lifestyle has several facilities which reduce physical workload and make their duty easier. As a result, the community adopts these technologies to assist them in their daily chores. In addition to it, it is very time saving. Nowadays ‘time became money’, hence the society feels these changes as a blessing to survive in this competitive world. On the other hand, there are several arguments to encounter its merits. Firstly, changes in lifestyle have pernicious influences on our health. To make it clear, new food habits like fast foods, persevered foods, soft drinks etc are the primary cause of deadly diseases like cancer. Also, sedentary lifestyle and lack of physical activity leads to obesity and ends up in diseases like diabetes mellitus, hypertension etc. In addition, round the clock use of modern devices like mobile phones, computers internets etc affect the human body due to radiations. Another important factor is that there is reduced interaction and communication in the family compared to the past. Since both parents are working with different shift hours, they did not get time to meet each other, and no time to talk with children. Thus they lead a machinery life rather than family life. In fact, we can say that parents are failures to mould a child especially the personality and overall development. In addition, new generations lack our values, customs, cultures etc due to the introduction of other modern styles. Thus, they adopt other customs or values which are convenient without considering its drawbacks. To sum up, it is proved beyond doubt that new style of life pattern has more negative impact than positive change. We should use our prudence and discernment while adopting any changes in our life pattern and not be swayed by its vast benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is changing
tremendously
in each year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
shape their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
with regard to the emerging trends of the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
uphold it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, while others have reservations about it. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
poses more disadvantages than advantages.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits due to the advent of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
which is convenient. Since there are troves of resources or choices to adapt, they absorb the most suitable version
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel more comfortable.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
has several facilities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
physical workload and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their duty easier.
As a result
, the community adopts these technologies to assist them in their daily chores.
In addition
to it, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘time
became money’,
hence
the society feels these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as a blessing to survive in this competitive world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are several arguments to encounter its merits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
have pernicious influences on our health. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
food habits like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods, persevered foods, soft drinks etc are the primary cause of deadly diseases like cancer.
Also
, sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and lack of physical activity leads to obesity and ends up in diseases like diabetes mellitus, hypertension etc.
In addition
, round the clock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
devices like mobile phones, computers
Possible spelling mistake found.
internets
etc affect the human body due to radiations. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
interaction and communication in the family compared to the past. Since both parents are working with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shift hours, they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to talk with children.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they lead a machinery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
rather
than family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In fact, we can say that parents are failures to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
a child
especially
the personality and
overall
development.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generations lack our values, customs, cultures etc due to the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
styles.
Thus
, they adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
customs or values which are convenient without considering its drawbacks.

To sum up, it
is proved
beyond doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our prudence and discernment while adopting any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pattern
and not
be swayed
by its vast benefits.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern lifestyle is completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think that the changes have been very positive while some others believe they have negative. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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