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Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer? v.2

Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer? v. 2
"These days One of the highly debated issues is crime prevention. While some people believe that government should take the responsibility for crime prevention, some others think that every person should be responsible for their safety and defend themselves against crime. Completely agree government and society, both should corporate each other to eliminate crime The following essay will discuss both view. On the one hand, intellects and scholars believe that people commit crimes because of the adverse situations they go through and hence it can be easily tackled if law enforcement agencies and the public work together to address these situations. Perhaps, criminals can be counselled to bring them to the right path. For instance, the Detroit police department and local community leadership organized yoga sessions for criminals which was successful and the crime rate in downtown Detroit became zero. Thus, they have a good reason to believe that crime rate can become negligible if authorities and society work together. However, crime cannot be abolished totally from human life, poverty, drug and alcohol, which were among main attributes of people to take illegal acts. Some believe that criminals cannot be changed as their behaviour cannot be changed To illustrate, in Chicago, the trend of robberies reduced for a while as the criminals were given counselling but went back to normal after a few weeks. Therefore, it is believed that any efforts put to transform criminals will go in vain. To conclude, criminal offence is a part of every community, no matter how hard its government and citizens try to solve. However, this problem can be reduced and controlled if people are mindful of their responsibilities and governments have proactive and appropriate prevention methods to cope with.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
These days One of the
highly
debated issues is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take the responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every person should be responsible for their safety and defend themselves against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and society, both should corporate each other to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
The following essay will discuss both view.

On the one hand, intellects and scholars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the adverse situations they go through and
hence
it can be
easily
tackled if law enforcement agencies and the public work together to address these situations. Perhaps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can
be counselled
to bring them to the right path.
For instance
, the Detroit police department and local community leadership organized yoga sessions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
which was successful and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in downtown Detroit became zero.
Thus
, they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate can become negligible if authorities and society work together.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cannot
be abolished
totally
from human life, poverty, drug and alcohol, which were among main attributes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take illegal acts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
To illustrate, in Chicago, the trend of robberies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
for a while as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
counselling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
went back to normal after a few weeks.
Therefore
, it
is believed
that any efforts put to transform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will go in vain.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
is a part of every community, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens try to solve.
However
, this problem can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and controlled if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are mindful of their responsibilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have proactive and appropriate prevention methods to cope with.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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