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The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v.1

Over the years, technology has made our lives much easier. Internet is one of the advancements of this invention. Whereas, some believe that misuse of the internet causes ill effects in peoples lives. But in my view, this advancement has advantages that outweigh the disadvantages. To begin with, online facilities such as ticket reservations, bill payments, online banking, shopping, trading and social networking have made the current lifestyle fast. Sitting at our home, we are able to collect information about the other side of the world. Even during crisis, when we are restricted to go out of our premises, we are able to continue our daily routine because of the internet. For instance, during the current pandemic 'Covid-19'; when the government had announced for national lockdown, schools and colleges where still able to conduct classes through live streaming. In addition to this, online shopping for essential items have made it easier to meet our daily requirements even though we were quarantined at home. Moreover, some multi-national companies were able to continue functions by promoting their employees to work from the safety of their homes. Even the health-care workers were able to advise and prescribe drugs to their patients through video calls, images and instant messages. However, inspite of these technological advances, people abuse it, for example, organisations stress their employees to work from home despite them having completed their office hours. Due to this, their personal time, health and family life are inadvertently compromised. This neglect diverts their children to spend excess time on virtual games and social networking thereby leading to obesity and other health issues at a very young age. To summarize, I assert that the internet has evolved our present day scenario with many positive advancements yet we need to discern our requirements and time wisely for benefiting from it.
Over the years, technology has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
much easier. Internet is one of the advancements of this invention. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that misuse of the internet causes ill effects in peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my view, this advancement has advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, online facilities such as ticket reservations, bill payments, online banking, shopping, trading and social networking have made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. Sitting at our home, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to collect information about the other side of the world. Even during crisis, when we
are restricted
to go out of our premises, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to continue our daily routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet.
For instance
, during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic 'Covid-19'; when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had announced for national lockdown, schools and colleges where
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to conduct classes through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
streaming.
In addition
to this, online shopping for essential items have made it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our daily requirements
even though
we
were quarantined
at home.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to continue functions by promoting their employees to work from the safety of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Even the health-care workers were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to advise and prescribe drugs to their patients through video calls, images and instant messages.

However
, inspite of these technological advances,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
abuse it,
for example
, organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
their employees to work from home despite them having completed their office hours. Due to this, their personal time, health and family life are
inadvertently
compromised. This neglect diverts their children to spend excess time on virtual games and social networking thereby leading to obesity and other health issues at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.

To summarize
, I assert that the internet has evolved our present day scenario with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advancements
yet
we need to discern our requirements and time
wisely
for benefiting from it.
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A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, The overall effect of this Technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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