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Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society, crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society, crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
Offence solving has been listed on the top priority on a global scale. While some individuals believe in the lawlessness reduction to the zero level if the collaborative effort of both the governmental body and the whole community is ensured, others go against this and argue that committing crimes has been obvious since the old time period. Personally, while I would provide the comparison between the two distinguished perspectives, I advocate the latter. Those who approving of the extreme wiped – out situation of the code infringement thanks to the unified combination of the top officials and the society could adopt some grounds for their view. To illustrate more, the mandate enforcement agency is in charge of ensuring and enduring the rule strictness through imposing official regulation on constitution - breaking cases. Meanwhile, the collective ordinary citizens are believed to reach the comprehensive agreement to abide by the legislative implementation, or else there would be some chaotic protesting incidents which disrupt the social stability. When these two pivotal sides confirm to perform effectively in harmony, this could significantly control individual’s behaviours when they are intending to conduct some evil activity. For example, there has hardly been any act infringement related to using powerful weapons in Vietnam for the Vietnamese government casts the stringent banning rule using as well as storing dangerous, guns and their national community is also afraid of the heavy fine together with the potential danger and so obey the imposed charter On the other hand, I strongly argue that eradicating the atrocious level is completely implausible and that misdeed has always been present in societies even in ancient times. To rationalize the former point, there is no doubt that though a powerful combination of trying to obliterate the violation would restrict the level to a certain extent, as mentioned above, for a single individual, there still remain some points of the time when one can hardly manage the raging personal feeling and so easily be uncontrollably evoked with an outraging impatient temper which motives him to take illegal revengeful offence. Furthermore, unless the social balance between the rich and the poor is reached, which merely stands theoretical due to human’s endless ambition, little can crimes such as robbing or stealing be reduced to the complete zero. In addition, the misdemeanour existence has continuously been considered a big issue even in the past or in the contemporary age. For instance, as partly rooted from the big gap in society, numerous criminal cases ranging from the lenient crimes like money pocketing to serious ruling infringement, such as house vandalism and killing for robbing private property, have been still of a great public concern since the ancient time, regardless of how authoritarian the implemented charter is and how sufficient the public work is in raising people’s awareness to conform to the regulation.
Offence
solving has
been listed
on the top priority on a global scale. While
some
individuals believe in the lawlessness reduction to the zero level if the collaborative effort of both the governmental body and the whole community
is ensured
, others go against this and argue that committing crimes has been obvious since the
old
time
period.
Personally
, while I would provide the comparison between the two distinguished perspectives, I advocate the latter.

Those who approving of the extreme wiped
out situation of the code infringement thanks to the unified combination of the top officials and the society could adopt
some
grounds for their view. To illustrate more, the mandate enforcement agency is in charge of ensuring and enduring the
rule
strictness through imposing official regulation on constitution
-
breaking cases. Meanwhile, the collective ordinary citizens
are believed
to reach the comprehensive agreement to abide by the legislative implementation, or else there would be
some
chaotic protesting incidents which disrupt the social stability. When these two pivotal sides confirm to perform
effectively
in harmony, this could
significantly
control individual’s
behaviours
when they are intending to conduct
some
evil activity.
For example
, there has hardly been any act infringement related to using powerful weapons in Vietnam for the Vietnamese
government
casts the stringent banning
rule
using
as well
as storing
dangerous
, guns and their national community is
also
afraid of the heavy fine together with the potential
danger
and
so
obey the imposed charter

On the other hand
, I
strongly
argue that eradicating the atrocious level is completely implausible and that misdeed has always been present in societies even in ancient
times
. To rationalize the former point, there is no doubt that though a powerful combination of trying to obliterate the violation would restrict the level to a certain extent, as mentioned above, for a single individual, there
still
remain
some
points of the
time
when one can hardly manage the raging personal feeling and
so
easily
be
uncontrollably
evoked with an outraging impatient temper which motives him to take illegal revengeful
offence
.
Furthermore
, unless the social balance between the rich and the poor
is reached
, which
merely
stands theoretical due to human’s endless ambition,
little
can crimes such as robbing or stealing be
reduced
to the complete zero.
In addition
, the
misdemeanour
existence has
continuously
been considered
a
big
issue even in the past or in the contemporary age.
For instance
, as partly rooted from the
big
gap in society, numerous criminal cases ranging from the lenient crimes like money pocketing to serious ruling infringement, such as
house
vandalism and killing for robbing private property, have been
still
of a great public concern since the ancient
time
, regardless of how authoritarian the implemented charter is and how sufficient the public work is in raising
people
’s awareness to conform to the regulation.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that with combined effort on the part of the government and society, crime can be completely eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
472 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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