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Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.6

Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. with this statement? v. 6
With the advent of technology, the ways we can communicate with others has certainly become a lot faster as compared to posting handwritten letters. Some believe that with the plethora of communication services available, writing letters is becoming obsolete. I strongly disagree with this notion as many still believe that writing letters by hand gives it a personal touch and also the authenticity is maintained in case of official letters. Firstly, we talk to at least one person on phone call on any given day. It has become a part of our schedule and nothing feels special about it. To exemplify, it was one of my friend’s birthday last month and I decided to write him a letter to wish him. He would have gotten tons of messages and dozens of calls that day but I thought my letter would stand out of the norm of wishing via phone and it did! He wrote me a letter back telling me how much he cherished the letter. Hence, writing letters shows care and affection in comparison with sending a text message or a phone call. Secondly, modern communications still are not reliable. There are thousands of hackers who have committed fraud by sending spam mails impersonating an authoritative body. Not everyone is aware of the security risks of latest technologies and hackers take advantage of this. For example, in my country it is mandatory for a company to send a new recruit an offer letter by post whereas by e-mail is optional. This is required by the company so that the person receiving the letter will be assured about the authenticity which would make it impossible for someone else to attempt a fraud or just pull a prank. Therefore for official communications, letters still play a big role as it ensures trust. In summary, letters written by hand are still being used to show care for the loved ones for personal communication and it also shows trust in case of official purpose. Hence, writing letters are far from being obsolete and is still a necessity.
With the advent of technology, the ways we can communicate with others has
certainly
become a lot faster as compared to posting handwritten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that with the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
services available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
is becoming obsolete. I
strongly
disagree with this notion as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
by hand gives it a personal touch and
also
the authenticity
is maintained
in case of official letters.

Firstly
, we talk to at least one person on phone call on any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
day. It has become a part of our schedule and nothing feels special about it. To exemplify, it was one of my friend’s birthday last month and I decided to write him a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
to wish him. He would have gotten tons of messages and dozens of calls that day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
would stand out of the norm of wishing via phone and it did! He wrote me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
back telling me how much he cherished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
care and affection
in comparison
with sending a text message or a phone call.

Secondly
, modern communications
still
are not reliable. There are thousands of hackers who have committed fraud by sending spam mails impersonating an authoritative body. Not everyone is aware of the security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies and hackers take advantage of this.
For example
, in my country it is mandatory for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a new recruit an offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
by post whereas by e-mail is optional. This
is required
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the person receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
will
be assured
about the authenticity which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible for someone else to attempt a fraud or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pull a prank.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
for official communications,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
still
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role as it ensures trust.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
written by hand are
still
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
care for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones for personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
trust in case of official purpose.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
are far from being obsolete and is
still
a necessity.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. with this statement? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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