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Modern communication systems benefit many people yet there are some that oppose to them. v.1

Modern communication systems benefit many people yet there are some that oppose to them. v. 1
Contemporary communication tools yield positive results for their consumers but a host of people refute this statement. While it is observed a sizeable minority of negative attitude toward consequences of communication devices, I believe that these facilities such as TV, the Internet, computers, smart phones etc. play an indispensable role in our life. Mass communication bears a plethora of significant outcomes that include mass media, mobile, World Wide Web. First of all, a substantial majority of TV channels are producing various learning programs which their contents contain educating the public. As a prime example, tremendous televisions have illustrated driving rules via animation and short movies. Furthermore, TV and radio entertain an overwhelming number of individuals in every day. In addition, audiences can grasp beneficial information in a wide range of fields. Most importantly, we can considerably decline our costs and avoid wasting our time by using services of websites and TV news. On the other hand, an excessive consumption of cutting edge technological communications brings about several devastating effects for our lives. State of the art communication mechanisms has changed our lifestyle. As an outstanding instance, a vast majority of children and adolescents squander a huge amount of their time in weekdays in front of televisions and computers. As a consequence, these home appliances escalate sedentary lifestyle and obesity disease. Moreover, overuse of smart communication equipment exacerbates creativity and social skills among children. Hence, most mass media distort reality and they attempt to form obedient populace rather than intelligent players in order to harness the public especially in political upheaval and issues. In conclusion, although remarkable psychologists and parents have expressed that communication utilities cause insurmountable hurdles for youth age groups, I would really like to reiterate these instruments expedite the acquisition of knowledge and decrease expenditures. However, if we do not consider the frictions of these objects, we will absolutely face relentless waves of acute challenges.
Contemporary
communication
tools yield
positive
results for their consumers
but
a host of
people
refute this statement. While it
is observed
a sizeable minority of
negative
attitude toward consequences of
communication
devices, I believe that these facilities such as TV, the Internet, computers, smart phones etc. play an indispensable role in our life.

Mass
communication
bears a plethora of significant outcomes that include mass media, mobile, World Wide Web.
First of all
, a substantial majority of TV channels are producing various learning programs which their contents contain educating the public. As a prime example, tremendous televisions have illustrated driving
rules
via animation and short movies.
Furthermore
, TV and radio entertain an overwhelming number of individuals in every day.
In addition
, audiences can grasp beneficial information in a wide range of fields. Most
importantly
, we can
considerably
decline our costs and avoid wasting our time by using services of websites and TV news.

On the other hand
, an excessive consumption of cutting edge technological communications brings about several devastating effects for our
lives
.
State of the art
communication
mechanisms has
changed
our lifestyle. As an outstanding instance, a vast majority of children and adolescents squander a huge amount of their time in weekdays in front of televisions and computers. As a consequence, these home appliances escalate sedentary lifestyle and obesity disease.
Moreover
, overuse of smart
communication
equipment exacerbates creativity and social
skills
among children.
Hence
, most mass media distort
reality and
they attempt to form obedient populace
rather
than intelligent players in order to harness the public
especially
in political upheaval and issues.

In conclusion
, although remarkable psychologists and parents have expressed that
communication
utilities cause insurmountable hurdles for youth age groups, I would
really
like to reiterate these instruments expedite the acquisition of knowledge and decrease expenditures.
However
, if we do not consider the frictions of these objects, we will
absolutely
face relentless waves of acute challenges.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern communication systems benefit many people yet there are some that oppose to them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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