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The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are others who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. v.1

The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are others who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. v. 1
The internet is considered to be the boon for the people of the technical era. Since it facilitates them in all fields such as banking, business promotion, entertainment, travel ticket bookings, communications etc. and has been making their work much easier, people are depending on this technology heavily. The most important benefit reaped out of the advent of the internet is the easy way of communication, argues many, like the business people, academicians, students but the counter-arguers emphasise that it is because of this invention the communication skill is gradually waning. However, in my opinion, if this tool is used effectively it could be more beneficial to the society. With regard to the people who support the opinion that the World Wide Web is the best method to communicate with others, there are several arguments to put forth. Firstly, e-mail has  been serving  as a  fast and effective  way  to  send  messages and get a quick  reply when compared  to the earlier  postal services. It not only helps in exchange of information but also in more academic works, for instance in conducting webinars. This is where experts from various countries can join in a discussion about a research topic by using the application software like Google hangout. This is not all, personal communication, for individuals staying abroad to get in touch with their family, made facile by the use of Skype. So this way interest aids communication between people. Contrarily, according to people who incline to the opinion that it destroys the communication skill, there are few viewpoints. Instead, they would enjoy staying alone with their electronic gadgets which have internet access. This aptly suits for the children who now prefer to stay online and chat which friends as opposed to going out and making friends. So if this scenario persists then they would gradually lose their communication skills, argue the supporters of this point of view. To conclude, the internet is the best way of communication as it saves time to a great extent. So if the usage is restricted   to a particular time for children then the negative issue creeping out of this invention could be kerbed. Consequently, the whole society could acquire the advantages of using the internet to communicate.
The internet
is considered
to be the boon for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the technical era. Since it facilitates them in all fields such as banking, business promotion, entertainment, travel ticket bookings, communications etc. and has been making their work much easier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on this technology
heavily
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit reaped out of the advent of the internet is the easy way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, argues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, like the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, academicians, students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the counter-arguers
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
that it is
because of this
invention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is
gradually
waning.
However
, in my opinion, if this tool is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
it could be more beneficial to the society.

With regard to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support the opinion that the World Wide Web is the best method to communicate with others, there are several arguments to put forth.
Firstly
, e-mail has
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
been serving
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
as a
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and effective
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
way
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
messages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quick
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
reply when compared
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to the earlier
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
postal services. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The usual prepositions to use after "in exchange" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "in exchange for"?
in exchange of
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in more academic works,
for instance
in conducting webinars. This is where experts from various countries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in a discussion about a research topic by using the application software like Google hangout. This is not all, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, for individuals staying abroad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with their family, made facile by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Skype.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this way interest aids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Contrarily
, according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who incline to the opinion that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, there are few viewpoints.
Instead
, they would enjoy staying alone with their electronic gadgets which have internet access. This
aptly
suits for the children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer to stay online and chat which friends as opposed to going out and making friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if this scenario persists then they would
gradually
lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, argue the supporters of this point of view.

To conclude
, the internet is the best way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
as it saves time to a great extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the usage
is restricted
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
to a particular time for children then the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issue creeping out of this invention could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
kerbed
.
Consequently
, the whole society could acquire the advantages of using the internet to communicate.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are others who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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