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In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. v.4

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. v. 4
In these days and ages, one of the major problems faced by developed cities is traffic congestion due to the staggering amount of car owners in these areas. As a result, drivers are charged a fee before entering the city centre in some places. Undoubtedly, this policy certainly comes with some positive impacts on the traffic. It is evident that with an extra charge applied upon driving into the city centre, drivers tend to become more serious while considering the necessity of getting into the town centre. Besides, activities, like carpooling or taking public transportation, are also practised more often by people. Consequently, there would be a dramatic improvement on the traffic condition as congestion is likely to occur less frequently. However, in my opinion, the detrimental sides of this policy definitely outweigh the benefits. First of all, it is logistically out of the question for the government to install the required equipment as it involves plenty of funds. On the other hand, this policy would also directly increase the financial burden of people. It is due to the fact that there are always people whose jobs need them to be constantly travelling around the city. While the rich drivers may be unaffected by this policy, those workers with an average amount of income would surely be troubled by the extra fee. To conclude, the solution mentioned above is way too extreme to be practised. In strong contrast, the government should provide free or low-cost public transportation into the city centre during peak hours so that it would end up benefiting more people.
In these days and ages, one of the major problems faced by developed
cities
is traffic congestion due to the staggering amount of car owners in these areas.
As a result
, drivers
are charged
a fee
before
entering the city
centre
in
some
places.

Undoubtedly
, this
policy
certainly
comes
with
some
positive
impacts on the traffic. It is evident that with an extra charge applied upon driving into the city
centre
, drivers tend to become more serious while considering the necessity of getting into the town
centre
.
Besides
, activities, like carpooling or taking public transportation, are
also
practised
more
often
by
people
.
Consequently
, there would be a dramatic improvement on the traffic condition as congestion is likely to occur less
frequently
.

However
, in my opinion, the detrimental sides of this
policy
definitely outweigh the benefits.
First of all
, it is
logistically
out of the question for the
government
to install the required equipment as it involves
plenty
of funds.
On the other hand
, this
policy
would
also
directly
increase the financial burden of
people
. It is due to the fact that there are always
people
whose jobs need them to be
constantly
travelling around the city. While the rich drivers may
be unaffected
by this
policy
, those workers with an average amount of income would
surely
be troubled
by the extra fee.

To conclude
, the solution mentioned above is way too extreme to be
practised
. In strong contrast, the
government
should provide free or low-cost public transportation into the city
centre
during peak hours
so
that it would
end
up benefiting more
people
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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