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Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that? v.7

Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that? v. 7
From ancient days, a huge proportion of high-level jobs has always been held by men. Whether it is the head of the state or CEO of any multinational company, men has conquered most of the peaks. However, in this materialistic epoch, some people assert that government should reserve the seats for women for the sake of inequality among both sexes while others condemn this viewpoint and say intellectual development should be prioritized rather than gender. I counterbalance this notion. This essay will scrutinize both virtues. Advocates of the first viewpoint say that in this contemporary scenario, individuals are most sincere to establish the equal power of men and women thus it is reasonable to provide the required opportunities to the female counterpart. However, it will succor the females in decision-making and all other indispensable aspects of a career which are crucial for the holistic development. Also, the evil like male dominance in the developing countries like Bangladesh, India, Turkmenistan, and more will be eliminated with such an appropriate step. On the flip side, proponents of the second notion say that reservation will cause domestic violence among male gender and thus the crime rate will burgeon up. In addition, the government should introduce policies to eradicate such troubles and boost the education facilities of girls so that the regarded weaker gender can excel at its own. Last but not least, such a move can also lead to lowering the productivity and growth of any nation by providing positions to inexperienced employees. Mulling over the topic, Undoubtedly, there are a plethora of females on the high-designations but this proportion is ignorable contrasted to the males. In my opinion, authorities should encourage and support women so that they can reach heights in lieu of reservation.
From ancient days, a huge proportion of high-level jobs has always
been held
by
men
. Whether it is the head of the state or CEO of any multinational
company
,
men
has conquered most of the peaks.
However
, in this materialistic epoch,
some
people
assert that
government
should reserve the seats for women for the sake of inequality among both sexes while others condemn this viewpoint and say intellectual development should
be prioritized
rather
than gender. I counterbalance this notion. This essay will scrutinize both virtues.

Advocates of the
first
viewpoint say that in this contemporary scenario, individuals are most sincere to establish the equal power of
men
and women
thus
it is reasonable to provide the required opportunities to the female counterpart.
However
, it will succor the females in decision-making and all other indispensable aspects of a career which are crucial for the holistic development.
Also
, the evil like male dominance in the
developing countries
like Bangladesh, India, Turkmenistan, and more will
be eliminated
with such an appropriate step.

On the flip side, proponents of the second notion say that reservation will cause domestic violence among male gender and
thus
the crime rate will burgeon up.
In addition
, the
government
should introduce policies to eradicate such troubles and boost the education facilities of girls
so
that the regarded weaker gender can excel at its
own
. Last
but
not least, such a
move
can
also
lead to lowering the productivity and growth of any nation by providing positions to inexperienced employees.

Mulling over the topic,
Undoubtedly
, there are a plethora of females on the high-designations
but
this proportion is ignorable contrasted to the males. In my opinion, authorities should encourage and support women
so
that they can reach heights in lieu of reservation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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