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Do you agree or diasagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
Questions surrounding what is the role of parents in their children’s education have been ongoing in the last years, since an increasing number of teenagers want to become independent earlier than in the past. While some people believe that parents (or adult relatives) should decide for the youngsters, others believe that teenagers should make important decision autonomously. In my opinion, parents should allow young sons and daughters to make important decisions, but they should give some advice for their lives. I will explore why I feel this way in the following essay. On the hand, teenage children have to take responsibility for their lives. If parents always make choices for them, they will never learn how to take a position. In my opinion, adult relatives are the best teachers: in fact, they teach us what is wrong and what is right and how to deal with difficult or dangerous situations. My parent gave me lots of life lessons and I will be thankful to them forever. However, if they had decided for me in any situation without letting me to think and take a position, I could not have become a mature man. Thus, teenagers should reflect on their life, take a position and be responsible, since this is sign of maturity. On the other hand, parents should give some suggestions in order to help teenagers make important decisions. For instance, my parents gave me some advice when I was choosing my future after high school. I was undecided between going to university or attending a trade school. I asked them some advice since I thought that they could have faced the same problem in the past. Even though my father is extremely practical-minded and he did not like studying, he told me that he had the same problem as a young man. He made me understand the differences between the two schools and he suggested me to attend university, based on his knowledge of my personality. Anyways, he underlined that he just gave his opinion and I had to take a position by myself. After our discussion, I was able to fully consider all of my own options. Thus, talking with your parents can be useful when you are struggling with a dilemma. All in all, this essay discussed why teenagers should take decisions autonomously. This is because they should become mature and responsible for their own life. Having said that, parents should give some advice if necessary.
Questions surrounding what is the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in their children’s education have been ongoing in the last years, since an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
want to become independent earlier than in the past. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
(or adult relatives) should decide for the youngsters, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
autonomously
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young sons and daughters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I will explore why I feel this way in the following essay.

On the hand, teenage children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
choices for them, they will never learn how to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
. In my opinion, adult relatives are the best teachers: in fact, they teach us what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and what is right and how to deal with difficult or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
gave me lots of life lessons and I will be thankful to them forever.
However
, if they had decided for me in any situation without letting me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
, I could not have become a mature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should reflect on their life, take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and be responsible, since this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of maturity.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
when I was choosing my future after high school. I
was undecided
between going to university or attending a trade school. I asked them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they could have faced the same problem in the past.
Even though
my father is
extremely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practical-minded and
he did not like studying, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he had the same problem as a young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. He made me understand the differences between the two
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schools and
he suggested me to attend university, based on his knowledge of my personality. Anyways, he underlined that he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gave his opinion and I had to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
by myself. After our discussion, I was able to
fully
consider all of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
options.
Thus
, talking with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be useful when you are struggling with a dilemma.

All in all, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
autonomously
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they should become mature and responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. Having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
if necessary.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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