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Climate change is now an accepted threat to our planet, but there is not enough political action to control excessive consumerism and pollution. Do you agree? v.2

Climate change is now an accepted threat to our planet, but there is not enough political action to control excessive consumerism and pollution. Do you agree? v. 2
Global warming is an important problem to our earth, but there is not adequate attempt from the government to reduce exaggerate consumerism and environmental issues. I agree with this statement because it can be seen many symptoms that our planet has climate change. One of them our earth becomes hotter than before and natural disaster had happened everywhere. In my opinion, the government has not given the best solution about global warming. The rule is published for temporary time. It prohibits society to make plastic for short time. Because the government just publishes the rules about payment the plastic, but not given the real solution to replace plastic with another bag is made from recycled material. The bag can be made from banana leaf. Because banana leaves bear fruit one time only. One of excessive consumerism effects is raising plastic trash. More consumption makes more plastic rubbish. Rising consumerism can be decreased by saving energy and using recycling thins in human activity. It can be seen when the people begin consuming more than they needed, boundaries are removed. Excessive consumption leads to bigger houses, trendier clothes, fancier technology and excessive use of cars. It means a person uses one car. Meanwhile, the fuel usage is more than what is needed. Because of that, more rubbish is thrown until no place to keep it. After that energy from our earth like oil, gas and water become less until the energy is difficult to be founded. Besides that, pollution is one of sources that cause global warming. In the capital city or large city, many vehicles like car and motorcycles in the street until became traffic jam. Because of many vehicles so that it can produce much pollution that source from vehicle. Thus meanwhile become air pollution. Air pollution is the most prominent and dangerous form of pollution. The effects of the air pollution are evident too. Release of hazardous gases into the air causes global warming. One of ways for decreasing global warming, the government must publish rules about make bag from recycling materials like banana leaves, second society must be give education about do not became highest consumption and save energy. Third the government must create comfortable public transportation, so air pollution can be decreased.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem to our earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is not adequate attempt from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
exaggerate consumerism and environmental issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
symptoms that our planet has climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. One of them our earth becomes hotter than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and natural disaster had happened everywhere.

In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the best solution about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is published
for temporary time. It prohibits society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
for short time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
publishes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about payment the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the real solution to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
with another bag
is made
from recycled material. The bag can
be made
from banana leaf.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
banana
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
bear fruit one time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

One of excessive consumerism effects is raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
trash. More consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
rubbish. Rising consumerism can
be decreased
by saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and using recycling thins in human activity. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
consuming more than they needed, boundaries
are removed
. Excessive consumption leads to bigger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, trendier clothes, fancier technology and excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars. It means a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
one car. Meanwhile, the fuel usage is more than what
is needed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, more rubbish
is thrown
until no place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from our earth like oil, gas and water become less until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is difficult to
be founded
.

Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is one of sources that cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. In the capital city or large city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles like car and motorcycles in the street until became traffic jam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can produce much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
that source from vehicle.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
meanwhile become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the most prominent and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are evident too. Release of hazardous gases into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.

One of ways for decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
publish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bag from recycling materials like banana
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, second society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be give education about do not became
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
consumption and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Third the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create comfortable public transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can
be decreased
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Climate change is now an accepted threat to our planet, but there is not enough political action to control excessive consumerism and pollution. Do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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