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Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share theresponsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree? Share relevant personal experiences. v.2

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share theresponsibilities of household chores. Share relevant personal experiences. v. 2
With women demonstrating their ability to perform just as well as men on the global professional stage, it is no wonder that more and more men are taking on the responsibilities of domestic life. It is argued that all household chores should be distributed evenly between dual income couples. The virtues of this arrangement will be shown by looking at the positive effects it has on both children and the relationship quality the married couple experiences. For one, parents who share housework provide a good example to their children of the importance of empathy. For instance, while working in Dubai, I taught English to children of several dual income families. These children were very proactive when it came to helping their parents with household duties. Looking back, I feel these children acted in this selfless manner in response to the living models their parents provided. As this example shows, parents who equally shoulder the burden of household duties pass on worthy character traits to their children. In addition to this, the relationship quality married couples experience can benefit from their sharing in the challenges of day-to-day life. For example, although my own mother never worked, she was always very gracious of my father when he would take the time to help her with duties around the house. This sharing in hardship helped to strengthen my parents’ union and acts as yet another benefit to the equal divvying of household duties between married couples. After looking at how equal burden can benefit a married couple’s children and relationship, it is clear that this is an opinion that should be supported.
With women demonstrating their ability to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
on the global

professional stage, it is no wonder that more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are taking on the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
responsibilities
of domestic life. It
is argued
that all household chores should
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
distributed
evenly
between dual income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. The virtues of this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
arrangement


will
be shown
by looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects it has on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
relationship
quality the married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
experiences.

For one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who share housework provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
importance of empathy.
For instance
, while working in Dubai, I taught English
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
of several dual income families. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proactive when
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
came
to helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
. Looking back, I feel
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
these


children acted in this selfless manner in response to the living models their parents

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
provided
. As this example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
equally
shoulder the burden
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
pass on worthy character traits to their children.

In addition
to this, the relationship quality married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
experience can benefit

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
their sharing in the challenges of day-to-day life.
For example
, although
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
my


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother never worked, she was always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
gracious of my father when he

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
would
take the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This sharing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


hardship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to strengthen my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
union and acts as
yet
another benefit to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
equal divvying of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
between married couples.

After looking at how equal burden can benefit a married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
relationship
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this is an opinion that should
be supported
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share theresponsibilities of household chores. Share relevant personal experiences. v. 2

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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