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Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree? Share relevant personal experiences. v.2

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Share relevant personal experiences. v. 2
The number of households where both partners work are steadily on the rise and that is hardly surprising. Women have already proved that they are capable of performing just as well as men on the professional stage. Some people believe that when both partners have full-time jobs, they should divide the housework evenly between them. I totally agree with this view. There is no denying the fact that when dual income couples share their household responsibilities, it improves the quality of their marital life. All women – both working and non-working – will appreciate it when their partners take the time to share the housework with them because it is a clear sign that their men care for them. When a working woman is forced to do all the housework without any help, it has a very negative effect on her mental and physical well-being. What’s more, it affects her performance on the work front. Working women who do not have the support of their partners are also more likely to quit their job. When couples share the responsibilities of domestic life, they set a good example for their children. Children raised in such families will learn the value of empathy. And when they become adults, they will have no trouble sharing the responsibilities with their respective partners. After analysing the situation, it is felt that working couples should be encouraged to share the responsibilities of their day-to-day life. It improves their family life and career prospects. By shouldering the responsibilities of household duties, parents also pass on worthy character traits to their children. Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
The number of households where both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
work are
steadily
on the rise and
that is
hardly surprising. Women have already proved that they are capable of performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
on the professional stage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that when both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
have full-time jobs, they should divide the housework
evenly
between them. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

There is no denying the fact that when dual income couples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of their
Did you mean "martial" (relating to war or a warrior)?
marital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. All women
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and non-working
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
will appreciate it when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
take the time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the housework with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
care for them. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
woman
is forced
to do all the housework without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on her mental and physical well-being. What’s more, it affects her performance on the work front.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
women who do not have the support of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
are
also
more likely to quit their job.

When couples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for their children. Children raised in such families will learn the value of empathy. And when they become adults, they will have no trouble sharing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
with their respective partners.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the situation, it
is felt
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
couples should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of their day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and career prospects. By shouldering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of household duties, parents
also
pass on worthy character traits to their children.

Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Share relevant personal experiences. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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