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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and includ v.32

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. 32
A Healthy economy is a sign of a healthy population and vice versa. Every Nation should strive to provide basic healthcare to its citizens, although it might not be possible to provide complex surgeries and treatments free of cost to everyone. This essay agrees with the statement and will put forth two main reasons to prove its stance. Firstly, every person cannot afford health services due to their financial condition. In India, a majority of population live in villages, where they even lack basic sanitation and hygiene facilities. The administration should be responsible to provide medical facilities to these locations. For instance, the mobile clinic concept in some of the regions is a classic example of such an outreach to the villages. It is difficult for a country to provide advanced medical treatments of rare diseases, as a lot of money is spent in research and technology. However, it is important to safeguard the well-being of these people, as they contribute to the overall growth of the economy. Secondly, as taxpaying citizens of the country it is our basic need, which needs to be addressed by the regime. The monies collected should be enough for at least providing the essential medical requirements for the betterment of the populace. To exemplify, a part of the budget needs to be allocated to healthcare, so that fundamental remedial services can be provided. A planned approach to solving this issue needs to be structured. The regime can also use this budget to open a few specialty hospitals catering to remedy the diseases, which require latest medical research and technology. In conclusion, Health of the people is an important aspect of the community and in my opinion, I strongly recommend that the state take care of its citizens healthcare services, not only by increasing the outreach to villages and remote areas, but also by allocating funds from the tax collected.
A Healthy economy is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a healthy population and vice versa. Every Nation should strive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
basic healthcare to its citizens, although it might not be possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
complex surgeries and treatments free of cost to everyone. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement and will put forth two main reasons to prove its stance.

Firstly
, every person cannot afford health services due to their financial condition. In India, a majority of population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in villages, where they even lack basic sanitation and hygiene facilities. The administration should be responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities to these locations.
For instance
, the mobile clinic concept in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
regions is a classic example of such an outreach to the villages. It is difficult for a country to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments of rare diseases, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
is spent
in research and technology.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to safeguard the well-being of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as they contribute to the
overall
growth of the economy.

Secondly
, as taxpaying citizens of the country it is our basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be addressed
by the regime. The monies collected should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for at least providing the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
requirements for the betterment of the populace. To exemplify, a part of the budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be allocated
to healthcare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that fundamental remedial services can
be provided
. A planned approach to solving this issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be structured
. The regime can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this budget to open a few specialty hospitals catering to remedy the diseases, which require
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research and technology.

In conclusion
, Health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of the community and in my opinion, I
strongly
recommend that the state take care of its citizens healthcare services, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by increasing the outreach to villages and remote areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by allocating funds from the tax collected.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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