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Marriages are bigger and more expansive nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Marriages are bigger and more expansive nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Modern weddings are more extravagant as compared to the old days. It is true that these ceremonies have negative impacts on the society. However, the upsides of such ceremonies outweigh the downsides. To begin with, this trend does have its share of drawbacks. Firstly, these marriages leaves a bad precedent on society, especially on middle-class families which sometimes ends up in debt in a bid to match the grandeur and extravagance. Secondly, the concern is about waste generation. Both the consumption of electricity and leftover food waste is highly enormous to bear for an event that lasts merely for a day or two. The over wastage and overspending is a major part of the concern for families that just only hand to mouth. On the other side, such types of functions provide lots of employment, especially related to blue-collar jobs. Furthermore, these opportunities constricting the grave economic disparity between rich and poor people. In addition, expansive marriages demand relatives to attend both from far and near the end. Therefore, an opportunity to strengthen the bond between kith and kin, such marriage have a special role. In conclusion, It is lucid that trendy marriages are leads to some futile outcomes, however, these marriages are highly imperative for various relatives to get together and many a person gets work to earn a livelihood.
Modern weddings are more extravagant as compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. It is true that these ceremonies have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society.
However
, the upsides of such ceremonies outweigh the downsides.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this trend does have its share of drawbacks.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
precedent on society,
especially
on middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
ends up in debt in a bid to match the grandeur and extravagance.
Secondly
, the concern is about waste generation. Both the consumption of electricity and leftover food waste is
highly
enormous to bear for an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that lasts
merely
for a day or two. The over wastage and overspending is a major part of the concern for families that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hand to mouth.

On the other side, such types of functions provide lots of employment,
especially
related to blue-collar jobs.
Furthermore
, these opportunities constricting the grave economic disparity between rich and poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, expansive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
demand relatives to attend both from far and near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Therefore
, an opportunity to strengthen the bond between kith and kin, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
have a special role.

In conclusion
, It is lucid that trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
futile outcomes,
however
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are
highly
imperative for various relatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
work to earn a livelihood.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Marriages are bigger and more expansive nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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