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In most of the countries, people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Do the advantages overweigh disadvantages of renting a home? v.1

In most of the countries, people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Do the advantages overweigh disadvantages of renting a home? v. 1
The proponents of renting a house cite a host of benefits. Before you decide to buy, carefully consider the merits & demerits of home ownership. Let us delve deeper into the reasons that support my notion in the ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, buying a house requires an enormous sum of investment. In big cities, purchasing a property needs a great deal of money and the skyrocketing prices makes it impossible for many even to dream to own. To illustrate, an article published in “Bloomberg Businessweek” magazine in July 2019 stated that people living in metropolitan cities prefer to rent their accommodation than buying it. Furthermore, tenants enjoy benefits of not paying property tax and maintenance charges which add up to their savings. Additionally, people living in a rented domicile have the option to move to a newer location when required. For instance, a survey organised by “United States Census Bureau” in May 2018 revealed that private employees, rent a new accommodation every third year due to their transfer of jobs. On the contrary, you cannot claim an ownership while living in a rented place. Demerits of not making an asset of owning a residence raise insecurities for the future. The house is a valuable resource for the next generation to reside in securely. To elucidate, properties like shop, commercial & agricultural land are considered as long-term investment that help to increase one’s wealth eventually. To exemplify, “Harvard University, USA” conducted a research in August 2014 and found that 58 percent of the population do not own a property and live in a rented home. To encapsulate, let us reiterate that although there are some cons of renting a domicile, the pros by far outweigh them. It depends upon one’s own needs & financial circumstances to choose between the two.
The proponents of renting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
cite a host of benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
you decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
carefully
consider the merits & demerits of home ownership.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us delve deeper into the reasons that support my notion in the ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
requires an enormous sum of investment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, purchasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
needs a great deal of money and the skyrocketing prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
even to dream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. To illustrate, an article published in “Bloomberg
Possible spelling mistake found.
Businessweek
” magazine in July 2019 stated that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in metropolitan cities prefer to rent their accommodation than buying it.

Furthermore
, tenants enjoy benefits of not paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
tax and maintenance charges which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up to their savings.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in a rented domicile have the option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a newer location when required.
For instance
, a survey
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by “United States Census Bureau” in May 2018 revealed that private employees, rent a new accommodation every third year due to their transfer of jobs.

On the contrary
, you cannot claim an ownership while living in a rented place. Demerits of not making an asset of owning a residence raise insecurities for the future. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is a valuable resource for the
next
generation to reside in
securely
. To elucidate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properties
like shop, commercial & agricultural land
are considered
as long-term investment that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase one’s wealth
eventually
. To exemplify, “Harvard University, USA” conducted
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
in August 2014 and found that 58 percent of the population do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a rented home.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
encapsulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us reiterate that although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons of renting a domicile, the pros by far outweigh them. It depends upon one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs & financial circumstances to choose between the two.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In most of the countries, people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Do the advantages overweigh disadvantages of renting a home? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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