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Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions v.2

Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions v. 2
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the controversial phenomenon that young generations who drop out of university are accompanied the improper views towards learning. Below is the essay outlining several reasons for this alarming tendency and then suggesting some feasible measures to tackle this issue. There are two main reasons behind this current trend. Firstly, improper teaching methods may dampen students’ scholastic enthusiasm and mislead them in their study. For example, nowadays, many pupils are bombarded with too much information from different lectures, even unnecessary ones such as History, and they are result-driven, which not only makes students discontented with what they are learning but also forces them to leave the university because they have no goal in their studying. Secondly, many young people believe that they can succeed in their career paths without studying. For instance, there are many stories about famous characters who leave the university, but they are still successful, such as Bill Gates, which makes many students adopt the idea that it is not necessarily based on theoretical knowledge obtained at school to achieve success in life. Thus, it is understandable why many young people hold an adverse attitude towards learning schools. Urgent actions should be called to put a halt to the trend of school-droppers possessing an adverse attitude towards studying. The first one is that more practical knowledge ought to be introduced into the school syllabus in the hope of encouraging students to have more delight in studying. For instance, to avoid the boring textbooks, during the class a teacher can create some games, which stimulates their learning because more students' attention could be drawn. In addition, the TV broadcasters as well as a journalist should consider carefully about publicizing the stories of outstandingly successful figures who are inherently gifted because students could misunderstand the role of studying in their career paths. For example, It is clear that before Bill Gates left school, he was an inherently talented student, and he just has not finished his major yet, but his self-learning must be done through many years, leading him to success. In conclusion, there are many reasons that result in students’ notions of studying is misunderstood and both of the solutions mentioned could change their mindsets.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on the controversial phenomenon that young generations who drop out of university
are accompanied
the improper views towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Below is the essay outlining several reasons for this alarming tendency and then suggesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible measures to tackle this issue.

There are two main reasons behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend.
Firstly
, improper teaching methods may dampen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
scholastic enthusiasm and mislead them in their study.
For example
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils
are bombarded
with too much information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lectures, even unnecessary ones such as History, and they are result-driven, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
discontented with what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
forces them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no goal in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they can succeed in their career paths without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stories about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
characters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
still
successful, such as Bill Gates, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
adopt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is not
necessarily
based on theoretical knowledge obtained at school to achieve success in life.
Thus
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold an adverse attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
schools.

Urgent actions should
be called
to put a halt to the trend of school-droppers possessing an adverse attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. The
first
one is that more practical knowledge ought to
be introduced
into the school syllabus in the hope of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have more delight in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
For instance
, to avoid the boring textbooks, during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
a teacher can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
games, which stimulates their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more students' attention could
be drawn
.
In addition
, the TV broadcasters
as well
as a journalist should consider
carefully
about publicizing the stories of
outstandingly
successful figures who are
inherently
gifted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could misunderstand the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in their career paths.
For example
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Bill Gates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
school, he was an
inherently
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, and he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
has not finished his major
yet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his self-learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, leading him to success.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
notions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is misunderstood and both of the solutions mentioned could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindsets.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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